IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is argued that Living in a foreign country that requires speaking a second language can pose some problems for individuals. I agree with
this
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 argument, as it might negatively affect a person's socialization and professional status and I will discuss the reasons in
this
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 essay. Coming to a foreign country will expose the person to new circumstances that may differ from their cultural roots and speaking is the first approach to express yourself in those circumstances.
For instance
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, there are various ways of greeting in countries that have many details including calling the person properly. If you are not able to express a simple greeting with a
neighbor
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neighbour
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 or colleague properly, it can be misunderstood as an
offense
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offence
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.
Thus
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, it will imply a negative first impression. From the occupational point of view, if you are dealing with a customer who is talking fast and acquired for a service if you can not comprehend the request, you will not meet the expectations.
Hence
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, it will impact your professional practicability and productivity and will result in the dissatisfaction of both managers and customers. In conclusion, being acknowledged in a foreign country's language is a necessity as speaking is our major irreplaceable communication approach.

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task achievement
Your introduction effectively states your agreement with the viewpoint but could benefit from a clearer roadmap outlining the main points of discussion. This sets clearer expectations for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are generally structured well, but transitions between some ideas could be stronger to enhance flow. Consider adding transition words or phrases to guide the reader.
task achievement
While you provide examples to support your arguments, they could be more specific or detailed. Include more real-life examples or scenarios to strengthen your points further.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion from the beginning, which is important for the Task Achievement criterion.
task achievement
Your ability to identify and discuss potential social and professional challenges is commendable, demonstrating an understanding of the topic's complexity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
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