Today more and more people are overweight than before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this. What are main affects of this epidemic.

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There is no denying the fact that nowadays the daily routine
unlike
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is unlike
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the
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in the
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past.
This
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essay will discuss the major reasons
of
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for
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the rapid increase in overweight people.
To begin
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with,
Firstly
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, individuals have a smartphone which provides various aspects of
advertisements
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advertisements'
advertisement's
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effects on lifestyle circumstances.
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, one of the active aspects is delivery applications,
that is
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published offers for junk food and sweets.
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,
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apps make
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unhealthy meals control people
while
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the shops
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are so
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far from their houses.
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, I misspent the time for ordering the food and enjoying
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apply
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this
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experience without thinking about the drawbacks or conclusions.
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,
this
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app can count points for
the
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apply
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future transactions from
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different stores can get more discounts. In terms of,
careless
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being careless
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about the outstanding exercise and sports sessions if just walking surround the garden, yoga session or football match. It is
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possible to say that,
the
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people
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do not
did not
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apply any monthly recheck about counting the fat in the body,
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apply
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this
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measure can used as an indicator for optimal range or out of the range, based upon the length.
Moreover
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,
this
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measurement can eliminate the overweight before happens.
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, the coach in the gym always posts posters and letters under the topics of how to reach
to
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the optimal weight by controlling the daily meals and outside exercise. In conclusion, there are many causes of being overweight more than before
such
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as laziness routine and the source of daily meals.

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task achievement
The introduction could be clearer, defining the topic more directly and providing a thesis statement that outlines the main causes and effects.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using clearer topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow and coherence of your argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your points, particularly in discussing the effects of being overweight.
task achievement
You have identified relevant causes of obesity in modern society, such as the impact of smartphone apps and sedentary lifestyles, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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