Today more and more people are overweight than before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this. What are main affects of this epidemic.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, the number of obese individuals has increased significantly primarily
due to
Linking Words
sedentary lifestyles and the worldwide availability of fast
food
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
the issue of
obesity
Use synonyms
remains a significant concern leading to serious health problems like type 2 diabetes and heart disease. I firmly believe that
this
Linking Words
problem can be effectively addressed by implementing measures
such
Linking Words
as promoting healthy lifestyles and restricting fast
food
Use synonyms
consumption at schools and education.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both the reasons and solutions for the phenomenon.
To begin
Linking Words
, the main factor contributing to
obesity
Use synonyms
is a sedentary lifestyle. At present a huge number of individuals work in front of computers without physical activity.
For instance
Linking Words
, accountants and office clerks live a sedentary lifestyle.
As a result
Linking Words
, they gain extra weight.
Additionally
Linking Words
easy access to fast
food
Use synonyms
results in
obesity
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent study conducted in the US ,where fast
food
Use synonyms
consumption is prevalent ,has revealed that nearly 70% of people face
obesity
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
eating habits.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to elaborate on your main points in more detail, explaining how they relate to the overall topic. It will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced discussion of both causes and effects, as this will help to cover the task more thoroughly.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to punctuation and spacing; ensure there are spaces after commas and periods for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Include a conclusion that summarizes your main ideas and restates your opinion clearly.
task achievement
You presented relevant ideas regarding the causes of obesity and potential solutions, which shows good awareness of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay, providing a clear framework for the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: