IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You have been invited to the engagement party of a friend from another country. You cannot go but you have bought a gift for him/her. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter • say how you feel about the engagement • explain why you cannot go • tell your friend about the gift you have bought for him/her

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Dear Sheela, I
am
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 so overjoyed
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when I came to know that my best friend
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 getting married. That news had made my day! I got your invitation
last
Linking Words
 week
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since
Correct word choice
and since
show examples
then
Linking Words
 I have been planning my visit to India to attend your wedding ceremony.
However
Linking Words
, I came to know yesterday that my university has organized the job fair event around the same day
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
 your wedding dates. I was in a great shock
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when
this
Linking Words
 news reached out to me. Currently, That event is far more important than anything else. As it has
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 chance
to give
Change preposition
of giving
show examples
 me one of the best
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
give me
Verb problem
to get
show examples
 my dream job.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, there is no possibility of missing
this
Linking Words
 chance.
However
Linking Words
, I have already decided
your
Change preposition
on your
show examples
 wedding gift. It is a
four day
Add a hyphen
four-day
show examples
 and three
nights
Fix the agreement mistake
night
show examples
 honeymoon package to
bali
Change the capitalization
Bali
show examples
. I have
desire
Correct article usage
a desire
show examples
 to give you a perfect time with your beautiful wife after the tiresome as well stressful wedding days. Please accept
this
Linking Words
 gift, and have fun around the
exotics
Correct your spelling
exotic
show examples
 places of Bali. Many congratulations to you for your new beginnings. Lots of love to you and your wife. Lovingly, Mihir.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to maintain consistency in tone and use more varied sentence structures for better flow.
task achievement
Avoid using phrases that express shock such as 'I was in great shock'—opt for something more neutral like 'I was surprised.'
coherence and cohesion
Be mindful of grammar and punctuation to enhance clarity, such as correcting 'That event is far more important than anything else.' to 'That event is more important than anything else.'
task achievement
The letter expresses genuine emotion and personal connection, which is great for task achievement.
task achievement
The gift idea is thoughtful and adds a personal touch, making your message memorable.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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