IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

: The diagram below give information on transport and car use in edmonton.

: The diagram below give information on transport and car use in edmonton.
The pie chart given illustrates the information about
Ireland
Use synonyms
 visits
last
Linking Words
 year by gender, age group and type of visit.
Notable
Correct article usage
A notable
show examples
 stat is that
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 old generation and
youngersters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
similarly
Linking Words
 do not seem to be interested in visiting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Ireland
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, regardless of gender visitors mostly went to
Ireland
Use synonyms
 for leisure trials.People
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ages
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
45-54 and 25-34 are active tourists to
Ireland
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 equal proportion of 23
Use synonyms
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 kids before 15
years
Use synonyms
tend
Correct word choice
old tend
show examples
 to sit at home.
Older
Correct article usage
The older
show examples
 category
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
55-64
years
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more likely to explore
Ireland
Use synonyms
 rather than
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 group 16-24
years
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
percentages of 11 and 9
Use synonyms
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Ireland
Use synonyms
 attracts visitors
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the ages
between
Change preposition
of
show examples
 35-44
years
Use synonyms
, their proportion consists
19
Change preposition
of 19
show examples
Use synonyms
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
.For
touristic
Replace the word
tourist
show examples
purposes
Add a comma
purposes,
show examples
 43
Use synonyms
percents
Correct your spelling
per cent
show examples
 of males and 40
Use synonyms
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
 of females visit
Ireland
Use synonyms
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
, other 13
Use synonyms
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
 of males and 4
Use synonyms
percents
Change the noun form
percent
show examples
females
Change preposition
of females
show examples
went
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to
Ireland
Use synonyms
 for job or business objectives.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ireland, percents, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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