You want to join a new gym in your neighbourhood. Write a letter to the gym manager. In your letter ask what types of membership are available, and what the prices are ask what activities are available ask what the joining procedure is
Dear Sir or Madam,
I hope you are doing well. I am writing to express my interest
to join
your newly opened gym in our locality and require some Change preposition
in joining
further
details of Linking Words
joining
procedure.
Correct article usage
the joining
Firstly
, as I have seen in the advertisement in the local newspaper Linking Words
that
there are 3 different Correct word choice
apply
kind
of membership available at a very reasonable price and Change to a plural noun
kinds
also
services vary as per the type of enrollment. It was Linking Words
also
mentioned that Linking Words
significant
amount of discount will Correct article usage
a significant
also
be appliedLinking Words
,
if we subscribe Remove the comma
apply
for
any of the Change preposition
to
membership
for 3 months that was something I find very interesting
Fix the agreement mistake
memberships
Secondly
, I would like to enquire about the amenities that will be available with the package. So that I can choose Linking Words
accordingly
. I often do weight training and yoga, I was wondering if there Linking Words
is
Change the verb form
are
such
classes conducted by your staff that will be Linking Words
boon
for me. Despite Correct article usage
a boon
of
that, Change preposition
apply
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
equipementsand
Correct your spelling
equipment and
restroom
are highly Fix the agreement mistake
restrooms
essentail
for me Correct your spelling
essential
which
I could use Correct pronoun usage
apply
after
my workout.
At Correct pronoun usage
them after
last
, kindly send me details Linking Words
how
I can get myself register to join the gym, If Change preposition
on how
online
option is not available Add an article
the online
then
Linking Words
i
can drive down to your location for Change the capitalization
I
resgistration
. Please let me know when I can arrive to do so.
Looking forward to hearing back from you at your earliest convenience,
Correct your spelling
registration
Correct the word
Yours
Your
faithfully,
MehakCorrect your spelling
Yours
mehakpreet1618
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coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea more clearly. For example, the first paragraph combines membership types and discounts which could be separated for clarity.
task achievement
Consider restructuring your sentences to improve clarity. For example, "I would like to enquire about the amenities included in the membership package," to make the query more straightforward.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for minor errors, such as 'equipementsand' which appears to be a typo. This will enhance the professionalism of your letter.
tone
Your polite tone and formal greeting set a positive tone for the message.
task achievement
You clearly stated your interest in the gym and specified what information you are seeking, which is commendable.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite