You want to join a new gym in your neighbourhood. Write a letter to the gym manager. In your letter ask what types of membership are available, and what the prices are ask what activities are available ask what the joining procedure is

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Dear Sir or Madam, I hope you are doing well. I am writing to express my interest
to join
Change preposition
in joining
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your newly opened gym in our locality and require some
further
Linking Words
details of
joining
Correct article usage
the joining
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procedure.
Firstly
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, as I have seen in the advertisement in the local newspaper
that
Correct word choice
apply
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there are 3 different
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
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of membership available at a very reasonable price and
also
Linking Words
services vary as per the type of enrollment. It was
also
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mentioned that
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
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amount of discount will
also
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be applied
,
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apply
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if we subscribe
for
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to
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any of the
membership
Fix the agreement mistake
memberships
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for 3 months that was something I find very interesting
Secondly
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, I would like to enquire about the amenities that will be available with the package. So that I can choose
accordingly
Linking Words
. I often do weight training and yoga, I was wondering if there
is
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are
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such
Linking Words
classes conducted by your staff that will be
boon
Correct article usage
a boon
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for me. Despite
of
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apply
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that,
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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equipementsand
Correct your spelling
equipment and
restroom
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restrooms
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are highly
essentail
Correct your spelling
essential
for me
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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I could use
after
Correct pronoun usage
them after
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my workout. At
last
Linking Words
, kindly send me details
how
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on how
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I can get myself register to join the gym, If
online
Add an article
the online
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option is not available
then
Linking Words
i
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I
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can drive down to your location for
resgistration
Correct your spelling
registration
. Please let me know when I can arrive to do so. Looking forward to hearing back from you at your earliest convenience,
Correct the word
Yours
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Your
Correct your spelling
Yours
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faithfully, Mehak

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coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea more clearly. For example, the first paragraph combines membership types and discounts which could be separated for clarity.
task achievement
Consider restructuring your sentences to improve clarity. For example, "I would like to enquire about the amenities included in the membership package," to make the query more straightforward.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for minor errors, such as 'equipementsand' which appears to be a typo. This will enhance the professionalism of your letter.
tone
Your polite tone and formal greeting set a positive tone for the message.
task achievement
You clearly stated your interest in the gym and specified what information you are seeking, which is commendable.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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