IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that we cannot learn anything from the past for our life today, while others believe that history is a valuable source of information to understand Humans life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is argued whether
the
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history is a crucial source of information to comprehend
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life or useless information that can impact our
lives
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. Even though
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past experiences can not be repeated again in the present day, I believe that
it
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they
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provides
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provide
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the
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valuable insights to live a more productive life.  On the one hand, the path that people have already gone through can not be repetitive any longer. Not only do individuals have to implement new approaches in their current
lives
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, but they
also
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 need to put behind the recollections and let them go as they may refrain from developing and seeking
for
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new opportunities.
Furthermore
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, the past can be the root of being stuck in the comfort zone.
For example
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, statistics provided by Nazarbayev University prove that individuals,
who
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whose
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 research mainly
focus
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focuses
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 on the past moments, have a tendency to show 45% less effectiveness than those, whose priority is the current situations.
On the other hand
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, the precious lessons learned from the previous years can prevent making
same
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the same
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 mistakes and act more efficiently.
In addition
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, humans tend to acquire more knowledge, wisdom and skills, based on their background actions. Given that they have gained great understanding, they are capable of overcoming obstacles in case of encountering in life.
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,
according to
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 the experts in the Ministry of Knowledge and Research, the greatest minds in scientific and other studies are those who have implemented 50% more analysing methods in their steps towards goals. In conclusion, it causes controversy among human beings whether
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historical records and events are valuable as
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fundamental sources of information for living comprehensive
lives
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 or not.
Although
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,
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it
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the situations are the memories of
past
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the past
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 that have
a
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little
affect
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effect
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to
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on
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 the current time, I reckon the gained insights from the experiences can result in living more
pro-active
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proactive
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 and productive
lives
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 for humanity.

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task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced discussion by giving stronger counterarguments to enhance your points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument and maintains a logical flow between ideas.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your claims and make your points more convincing.
task achievement
You have presented a clear opinion that supports the idea of learning from the past.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with clear paragraphs for each argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • valuable source of information
  • human behavior
  • governance
  • social structures
  • cultural heritage
  • historical awareness
  • modern society
  • technological advancements
  • medical advancements
  • economic patterns
  • financial decisions
  • historical conflicts
  • contemporary situations
  • rapid technological changes
  • relevant
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