IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some groups, such as poor people or people from rural area find it difficult to access the university education. Universities should make it especially easy for the students who come from the rural areas get an access to university. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Low-income families struggle to get adequate
education
Use synonyms
 as they lack proper educational funding. So, some people suggest that
Universities
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 should prioritize those
students
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, who come
up with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 poor
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
, helping them access their educational sources easily and for cheaper
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
. I am totally supportive of the idea and think that colleges should provide more grants for poor
students
Use synonyms
,
as well as
Linking Words
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 their study materials available online as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
further
Linking Words
 encouragement. As most of the countries around the world follow capitalistic regimes, it is undeniable that
education
Use synonyms
 inequality is one of the key issues for
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 some children attend private schools provided with cutting-edge technologies and qualified teachers,
low-level income
Correct your spelling
low-income
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 families have no other option but to make their children attend public
shools
Correct your spelling
schools
show examples
, which of course
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 privileges in comparison to private ones. As an option,
universities
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 can separate their scholarship programs for rich and poor
students
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. They can look up to the
students
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' backgrounds during the application period and learn whether they can afford to pay tuition
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 or not and decide for which scholarship program they can be selected. When a pupil is able to pay tuition payment there is
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 side of the problem, which is living expanses of a big city. Starting from rent
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
 to the
every-day
Correct your spelling
everyday
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 expenditure for food, the
overall
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 spending of a student for
month
Add an article
a month
the month
show examples
 can become a big number, considering his family background.
However
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,
students
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 have to bear
such
Linking Words
expanses
Correct your spelling
expenses
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 not only
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
year but for at least 3 years (depending on their major and university),
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 would be nearly impossible taking into consideration that they can not work. In
this
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 situation,
universities
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 can create their own e-learning platforms through which
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 can learn from anywhere. Take Coursera as an example, an online platform that offers numerous courses
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 different
universities
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 for little to no cost. Having provided
such
Linking Words
 platforms
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
, anyone who is eager to study
would
Verb problem
can
show examples
 access
Use synonyms
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 sources easily. In conclusion, I totally agree with the point of encouraging poor
students
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 when it comes to tertiary
education
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.
The equal
Correct article usage
Equal
show examples
education
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 is something that can change
future
Correct article usage
the future
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 of the majority who live
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
earth,
hence
Linking Words
, challenges that arise on the way to
eliminate
Wrong verb form
eliminating
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inequal
Correct your spelling
unequal
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 should immediately be overcome.

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coherence and cohesion
Provide a clearer outline in the introduction, indicating the main points you will discuss in the body paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Ensure the spelling of words like 'schools', 'expenses', and 'expenses' is correct. Furthermore, vary your sentence structures to improve readability and interest.
task achievement
Expand on your examples. For instance, when mentioning Coursera, explain how it specifically helps students or compare it with traditional learning for clarity.
task achievement
You clearly express your agreement with the argument and provide logical reasoning to support your viewpoints.
task achievement
Your use of examples, particularly about e-learning platforms, adds depth to your argument and illustrates your points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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