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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph shows the Population in the state of Oregon by county. Three counties that incresed in population between 1940 and 2000, Columbia, Yamhill and Washington had shown the different increasing.

The line graph shows the Population in the state of Oregon by county. Three counties that incresed in population between 1940 and 2000, Columbia, Yamhill and Washington had shown the different increasing.
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The data demonstrates the average
value
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 of 3 different valuable metals, namely
gold
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,
platinum
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 and
palladium
Use synonyms
 between 2013 and 2021.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be observed that during the entire time span, prices of
palladium
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 and
gold
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 increased whilst the
value
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 of
platinum
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 plummeted.
This
Linking Words
 aforementioned was the most expensive in 2013 but gradually decreased in
value
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 to become the least valuable .
However
Linking Words
,
palladium
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 witnessed the opposite trend, reaching the highest price among the three items in 2021. Looking in closer detail at the graph, it can be noticed that
platinium
Correct your spelling
platinum
 was the most expensive metal in 2013, costing 1500 $.But its
value
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 decreased dramatically until 2015 when it became worth 1000 dollars. Afterwards, the data depicts a gradual decline, until 2020, before a slight jump in 2021 when
platinum
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costed
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cost
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 roughly 1000$.Meanwhile its progressive drop, it has been overtaken by
gold
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 and
palladium
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 between 2014 and 2015, and between 2017 and 2018, respectively. With regard to the other figures,
platinum
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value
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 fluctuated from 2013 to 2017 before soaring from 2018 to 2020.During these 2 years, the price of the precious metal passed from 1000$ to approximately 2200$.
Then
Linking Words
 , it slightly leapt to almost 2400$ per oz to set up as the prime metal in worth. Concerning
gold
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, its price oscillated between 2013 and 2019, reaching a peak of roughly 1450$ and falling to around 1100$ in 2015.
Finally
Linking Words
, a growth occurred between 2019 and 2020 to plateau until 2021 at around 1800$ per oz.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words value, gold, platinum, palladium with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Demographics
  • Census
  • Migration
  • Infrastructural development
  • Economic impact
  • Urbanization
  • Rural to urban shift
  • Growth rate
  • Satellite cities
  • Migration patterns
  • Local economy
  • Population density
  • Service provision
  • Housing market
  • Socioeconomic factors
  • Population spike
  • Sustainable growth
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