IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, many people choose to work remotely from home instead Ofcommuting to the office every day. What are the advantages and disadvantages of working from home?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Over the course of the
last
Linking Words
 decades, distance working has become a way of life.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend has introduced numerous benefits,
such
Linking Words
 as saving
time
Use synonyms
 and energy, it has induced some drastic effects, as well.
Initially
Linking Words
, the number of An overt advantage of working remotely is that jobholders are not forced to waste a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 in heavy traffic jams to get to the office and
instead
Linking Words
 they can spend that extra
time
Use synonyms
 with their family at home.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
work
Correct pronoun usage
who work
show examples
 remotely have the opportunity to
accompolish
Correct your spelling
accomplish
 other tasks simultaneously.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a person works online, he or she can do the house chores like cooking and ironing, at the same
time
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, virtual working has some downsides that should be taken into consideration before making a career decision.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
state of the art
Add a hyphen
state-of-the-art
show examples
 vocational practice
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 entails commitment and concentration because employees should have adequate motivation to pursue tasks on their own.
Secondly
Linking Words
, virtual workers often face serious health issues. As a tangible example, in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 in America
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
academics discovered that
people
Use synonyms
 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been working online for more than 5 years
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 have announced a sense of isolation and emotional distractions
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when
visited
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
 a psychotherapist. In summary, since the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who work from home
instead
Linking Words
 of commuting to offices has increased,
people
Use synonyms
's traditional lifestyle has altered, which inevitably brings about both negative and positive effects on human lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The introduction clearly states the topic but could benefit from a more explicit thesis statement that outlines the main points to be discussed.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates directly to the main argument of the essay. This will enhance logical flow.
task achievement
When providing examples, make sure they are clear and directly related to the argument being made within the paragraph. Some examples were somewhat vague or unclear.
coherence and cohesion
Consider adding transitional phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs: this will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of working from home, which is essential for the task at hand.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of remote work issues, which reflects well-researched content and represents your own perspective on the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommuting
  • flexible working hours
  • work-life balance
  • commute
  • productivity
  • job satisfaction
  • talent pool
  • geographical diversity
  • cost savings
  • isolation
  • team cohesion
  • collaboration
  • overwork
  • burnout
  • financial benefits
  • environmental benefits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: