IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagram below shows how the English city Bristol deals with water pollution. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how the English city Bristol deals with water pollution. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram shows the flow of clean and dirty
water
Use synonyms
 throughout the city of Bristol.
Initially
Linking Words
, the process begins with fresh
water
Use synonyms
, fit for human consumption. As soon as it is used by humans, it becomes dirty and flows to three (3) separate destinations:
rivers
Use synonyms
 and
streams
Use synonyms
, sewage treatment plants and the ocean. The diagram shows that
rivers
Use synonyms
 and
streams
Use synonyms
 receive a mixture of clean and dirty
water
Use synonyms
. The
water
Use synonyms
 which has been used by humans is the dirty
water
Use synonyms
 and the clean
water
Use synonyms
 flows from sewage treatment plants. The diagram
also
Linking Words
 shows that dirty
water
Use synonyms
 is dumped into the ocean via
rivers
Use synonyms
 and
streams
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
 the ocean receives an input of dirty
water
Use synonyms
 from
rivers
Use synonyms
/
streams
Use synonyms
 and
water
Use synonyms
 used directly by humans. Some of the dirty
water
Use synonyms
 flowing in
rivers
Use synonyms
 and
streams
Use synonyms
 does not end up in oceans; it flows to reservoirs or goes directly to a
water
Use synonyms
 treatment plant.
This
Linking Words
water
Use synonyms
 is
then
Linking Words
 recycled and made ready for human use.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, rivers, streams with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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