IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

1.You are a parent and you need information about a school trip your child is going on. Write a letter to the class teacher. In your letter • introduce yourself • explain what information you are looking for • inform the teacher about any specific needs your child has

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Dear Mrs Ayat, I hope you are doing well.I
Add a missing verb
am concern
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concern
Replace the word
concerned
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from
Change preposition
about
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 you for a short trip that
held
Add a missing verb
was held
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 for kids towards your school management.
Firstly
Linking Words
,I am telling you about
my self
Correct your spelling
myself
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 I am
also
Linking Words
 a government teacher and
teaches
Correct subject-verb agreement
teach
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 9th,
10th
Correct word choice
and 10th
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class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
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.I have
hectic
Add an article
a hectic
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duty
Fix the agreement mistake
duties
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 with 3 kids during my job I have to concentrate
my
Change preposition
on my
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kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
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 activities.Being a mother I fulfill my duties with determination.
Secondly
Linking Words
,I need some information about the trip how many students going as well
how
Correct word choice
as how
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 much money
required
Add a missing verb
is required
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 for
this
Linking Words
 and which food
necessary
Add a missing verb
is necessary
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 for
this
Linking Words
 trip
any
Correct word choice
and any
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 specific dish or anything can bring with them.
Moreover
Linking Words
,the class teacher will go with them or not.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,my child does not take food by themselves so you have to look after about her
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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 and
also
Linking Words
 she did not go anywhere without me
therefore
Linking Words
 you could give
special
Correct pronoun usage
her special
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 treatment.I know you are a good and responsible teacher. Thank you for your support. Yours sincerely, Rabia

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Task Achievement
Try to include more detailed information or questions regarding the trip to enhance your letter's completeness.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve the clarity of your message.
Task Achievement
Consider using more formal language and refining your sentences for a better writing tone.
Task Achievement
You provided a clear introduction about yourself and established a personal connection.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your closing expresses gratitude, which adds a polite touch to your letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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