IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that online reading materials are better for children. Others argues that traditional paper based resources are better. Discuss and give your opinion.

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Undoubtedly, education plays a crucial role in
human's
Change noun form
human

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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 life, few people think that online reading stuff
are
Change the verb form
is

The plural verb are does not appear to agree with the singular subject online reading stuff. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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 good for teenagers.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, opponents believe that old traditional
paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based

It appears that paper based is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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 is better.
Further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I will shed light on both views and on my personal opinion.
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is

It appears that the possessive pronoun Its should be a contraction instead. Consider changing it.

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 true that
Correct your spelling
social media

If you don’t want socialmedia to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

socialmedia
Correct your spelling
social media

If you don’t want socialmedia to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

faced
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun growth in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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significant growth in the past few years, as it introduced multiple learning apps like
google
Capitalize word
Google

The word google should be capitalized in this context.

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, chrome, and many more, through which a reader can read

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task achievement
The introduction should clearly outline both sides of the argument before stating your opinion. Try to summarize the main points more explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to include clear transitions between points to enhance the flow of your essay. This will help in logically connecting your ideas.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points about both online reading materials and traditional paper-based resources. This will add depth to your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed both views on the topic, which shows an understanding of the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of phrases like 'shed light on' adds a nice touch to your writing style.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenient
  • accessible
  • interactive
  • engaging
  • multimedia
  • portable
  • suitable
  • physical
  • tangible
  • visual
  • distracted
  • limited
  • versatile
  • screen time
  • critical thinking
  • comprehension
  • retention
  • digital literacy
  • environmentally-friendly
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