IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that it is more important to plant trees in open areas of town and cities than to build more housing . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
IN OUR MODERN WORLD, PLANTING
TREES
Use synonyms
 IS ONE OF OUR MAIN CONCERNS, YET, IF
TREES
Use synonyms
 WERE PLANTED IN THE WRONG PLACE IT COULD AFFECT OUR EVERYDAY LIVES. WE WILL BEGIN WITH THE FIRST SUGGESTSION WHICH IS PLANTING
TREES
Use synonyms
 IN OPEN AREAS RATHER THAN JUST BUILDING MORE
HOUSES
Use synonyms
, EVEN THOUGH I RESPECT
THIS
Linking Words
 POINT OF VIEW
BUT
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I WOULD SAY THAT I STRONGLY DISAGREE WITH IT, YOU SEE, NOWADAYS
MODERN
Change preposition
IN MODERN
show examples
 SOCIETY HOUSING IS GETTING EXPENSIVE YEAR AFTER YEAR AND MORE INDIVIDUALS ARE FACING PROBLEMS PAYING THEIR RENT OR MORTGAGE, AND AS THE POPULATION OF THE SOCIETY GROW, THE CITY WILL EVENTUALLY NEED MORE
HOUSES
Use synonyms
, AND IF WE HAVE
TREES
Use synonyms
 FILLING THOSE SPACIOUS AREAS WE WON'T BE ABLE TO PROVIDE A HOME FOR A LOT OF INDIVIDUALS WHICH MEANS
HOUSES
Use synonyms
 PRICES WILL GO SIGNIFICANTLY HIGHER
DUE TO
Linking Words
 THE HIGH DEMAND. Yes, planting
trees
Use synonyms
 is a prime concern, but there are other concerns that matter more than planting
trees
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as housing, If governments don't provide enough homes for the population
this
Linking Words
 could eventually result in major problems, like a lot of folks will be taking the street as home which is not convenient, or others might start doing bad thing
such
Linking Words
 as stealing just to get enough money to actually afford a house. FROM WHERE I SEE IT, I THINK
TREES
Use synonyms
 SHOULD BE PLANTED ON THE STREETS AND AROUND
HOUSES
Use synonyms
 TO GIVE IT MORE OXYGEN AND LIFE,
THIS
Linking Words
 WOULD MAKE THE CITY MORE LIFEFUL AND BETTER LOOKING, IN SUMMARY,
TREES
Use synonyms
 ARE IMPORTANT FOR OUR LIVES, THEY PRODUCE OXYGEN FOR US AND THEY LOOK COOL, BUT WE NEED AS HUMANS TO KNOW WHERE TO PLANT THEM.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion, but it could benefit from a more balanced discussion. Consider acknowledging the benefits of planting trees while explaining why housing is a priority.
coherence
Try to use more transitional words and phrases to link your ideas more effectively. This will help enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Make sure to develop your ideas further with more specific examples or explanations. Adding concrete details can strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You clearly stated your opinion in the introduction and provided reasoning for your stance, showing a commitment to your viewpoint.
coherence
Your writing has an informal tone which can engage your reader, making it feel relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental sustainability
  • biodiversity
  • aesthetic value
  • recreational areas
  • community engagement
  • physical well-being
  • mental health
  • urban planning
  • housing shortages
  • long-term benefits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: