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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In recent years, the trend of trying
alternative
Use synonyms
medicines
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 and
treatments
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 has become increasingly noticeable across a wide range of societies.
While
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this
Linking Words
development
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 may bring certain benefits, I believe that
this
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 is generally a negative
development
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. It is true that trying
alternative
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medicines
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 and
treatments
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 may offer a number of positive outcomes. One major advantage is that
alternative
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medicines
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 and
treatments
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 are usually cheaper to ensure that everyone can get access to
medications
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 and
treatments
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.
Alternative
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medicines
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 and
treatments
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 are usually processed by contract manufacturers, which have lower costs, so the selling price is relatively cheap. These
alternative
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medicines
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 and
treatments
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 allow the poor to be able to access the originally expensive
medications
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, facilitating relief from their conditions.
Moreover
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,
this
Linking Words
development
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 can stimulate
pharmaceutical
Correct article usage
the pharmaceutical
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 industry's
development
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 has resulted in an increasing number of affordable
medications
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 for treating diseases on the market, thereby increasing the likelihood of people curing their diseases.
Nevertheless
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, I would argue that the
overall
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 impact of trying
alternative
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medicines
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 and
treatments
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 is more harmful to modern society. One commonly mentioned concern is that it often
lack
Correct subject-verb agreement
lacks
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 scientific validation. Many
alternative
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treatments
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 have not undergone strict testing, and their effectiveness and safety are uncertain. Relying on them may delay the best time for patients to receive proper treatment. Another major concern associated with
this
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 trend
is
Verb problem
apply
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can lead to health risks. Some
alternative
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medicines
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 may interact with other
medications
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 that patients are taking, causing adverse reactions.
Moreover
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, without professional medical guidance, people may misdiagnose their conditions when using
alternative
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treatments
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. In conclusion,
although
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 trying
alternative
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medicines
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 and
treatments
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 can produce certain benefits in specific contexts, I believe that not visiting
usual
Correct article usage
a usual
show examples
 doctor is a worrying
development
Use synonyms
 for society.

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tip
Plan before you write. State your main idea in the first paragraph.
tip
Use clear link words to show how ideas connect (for example, however, also, in addition).
tip
Give strong, real examples to back your point.
tip
Keep ideas simple and easy to read. Short sentences help clarity.
strength
The essay keeps a clear view, which helps the reader know your position.
strength
There are good connectors that join some ideas.
strength
Conclusion restates your view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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