In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough? What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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Some families all the time tell their children one of the best ways to achieve their goals is

being

Change the verb form

to be

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hardworking.

Although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

message has some benefits, there are some drawbacks

behind

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these words. On the one hand, giving motivation to pupils can assist them to get confident in order to start trying to attain their aims. Students would like to be encouraged by their parents or teachers

Remove the comma

apply

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when they decide to do a new job.

For instance

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, an elementary student is told to make a wooden bridge so if for the first time she

failed

Wrong verb form

fails

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, she probably gives up.

Moreover

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, parents have crucial roles in

this

Linking Words

situation to encourage them to do it again to be successful.

Also

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, being hardworking is a notion to

say

Verb problem

apply

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everyone that no pain,

Correct word choice

and no

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gain so, people should be patient to achieve their goals by trying hard properly in their duties.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, forcing to teenagers that attempt in their lives is the only way to achieve anything can impact their behaviours. Instinctively, children know that they have to practice a lot in order to solve a problem but, pushing them a lot can cause mental issues in the long run.

For example

Linking Words

, a student is not good in mathematics

however

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, she is good in art so, if their family insist that she is able to get a high score in mathematics and in the end she will fail, it hurts her emotions and she becomes depressed.

Also

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, there are some subjects in which no

efforrt

Correct your spelling

effort

is required, they need to be taught

furthermore

Linking Words

, attempting

for

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apply

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these subjects has reverse results and can disappoint them in their lives. In conclusion, it is true that encouraging children to be diligent is a useful way to achieve their goals yet,

repeat

Wrong verb form

yet repeating

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this

Linking Words

message has negative effects on them.

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task achievement

Make sure to provide a clearer thesis statement in your introduction that explicitly outlines both the advantages and disadvantages. This will help in presenting a more structured argument.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence. This will help in guiding the reader through your arguments logically and enhance coherence.

task achievement

Try to deliver more specific examples that are relevant to the points made. This can significantly strengthen your argument in task achievement.

task achievement

The essay presents both sides of the argument regarding the advantages and disadvantages, showcasing a balanced view on the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Good use of transition words and phrases such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand', which aids in the flow of the essay

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough? What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are played alone. Do you agree or disagree?

Some Young People are leaving the countryside to live in towns and cities, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this statement?

“Prevention is better than cure” Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes here. What is your opinion about this?