Some people think that there could be more benefits to society if more people study business than history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is an argument among groups of people whether business study business
is gives
Change the verb form
is giving
is given
show examples
more benefit over history.
This
Linking Words
essay
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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totally
agree
Correct subject-verb agreement
agrees
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about
Change preposition
with
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that because studying business is related
about
Change preposition
to
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the
economic
Replace the word
economy
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and even
for
Change preposition
on
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daily
Correct article usage
a daily
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basis, unlike history where we just learn about the past and hardly
implemented
Wrong verb form
implement
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in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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reality.

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introduction
The introduction could be clearer and more engaging. Include a clear thesis statement outlining your position on the topic.
examples
Consider providing specific examples or scenarios to support your argument about the benefits of studying business over history.
structure
Work on developing the logical flow of ideas within paragraphs to enhance coherence. Transition phrases can help connect your thoughts better.
clarity
You clearly express your agreement with the notion that business studies offer more benefits. This shows a defined position on the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Economic growth
  • Practical skills
  • Employment opportunities
  • Consumer awareness
  • Global markets
  • Cross-cultural communication
  • Cultural awareness
  • Critical thinking
  • Historical perspective
  • Balanced approach
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