Due to the development and rapid expansion of super markets in some countries , many small local business are unable to compete . some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. to what extent do you agree and disagree?

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The rapid growth of
supermarkets
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has led to
erosion
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the erosion
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of local and small businesses. Some people believe
,
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apply
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the shutdown of local
corporations
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can lead to
death
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the death
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of local
communities
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.
While
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,
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apply
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I agree with
this
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statement , the extent of
this
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negavtive
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negative
affect
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effect
show examples
has various factors. On the one hand , small businesses play a crucial role in
maintaning
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maintaining
the social fabric . They create jobs for local
communities
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, personalized services and contribute
the
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to the
show examples
growth of
local
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the local
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economy .Large
corporations
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dominate
to
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apply
show examples
local
businsess
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business
businesses
and retailers, as they have
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the
show examples
advantage of the scale of economies , make hard to combat
with
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apply
show examples
them .
This
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, in turn, closures of
the
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apply
show examples
local
corporations
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and
the
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apply
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retailers , leading to weaker
realationships
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relationships
relationship
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communities
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in communities
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, as no interaction with familiar shopkeepers and suppliers.
Additionally
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,
supermarkets
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are more engaged with profits over
to
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apply
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supporting local products , as they try to find cheaper
product
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products
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from other states , eventually causing damage to
local
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the local
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economy.
On the other hand
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,
while
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the rise of
supermarkets
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causing
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causes
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challenges to
local
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the local
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papulation
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population
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, it
also
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enchancing
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enhancing
the quality of life of
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the
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average earner.
In other words
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,
supermarkets
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are more
budget friendly
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budget-friendly
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as they have a scale of economies which allow them to provide affordable prices of food and daily essentials.Moving
further
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,
supermarkerts
Correct your spelling
supermarkets
also
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have
potential
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the potential
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to
rise
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raise
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Correct article usage
the
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employment rate ,thereby
provide
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providing
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opportunity
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opportunities
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for locals
settle
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to settle
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down with their careers .
In addition
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, in some cases, big
corporations
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also
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donate a significant amount of money to build better infrastructure for
public
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the public
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. In conclusion,
although
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the expansion of
supermarkets
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is inevitable, it should not
came
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come
show examples
out
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at
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the
expenses
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expense
show examples
of local
communities
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, even if it has several advantages.
However
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,it
also
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depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
on locals how they adopt or deal with
such
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changes
of
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in
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markets.A viable solution to mitigate negative impacts is
the
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for the
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government should support local
corporations
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and suppliers by implementing favoured policies and subsidising them.

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Task Achievement
Provide a clearer introduction that outlines the main arguments you will discuss in your essay. Make sure it is concise and directly addresses the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that there is a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Use linking words and phrases to connect sentences and ideas more effectively.
Task Achievement
Try to elaborate on your points with more examples or data to support your arguments and make them more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
You present a balanced view by acknowledging both the advantages and disadvantages of supermarkets, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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