IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In spite of the advances in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

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Hunger
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 persists as a significant global challenge despite advancements in agricultural technology.
While
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 improved
food
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 production is crucial, addressing
hunger
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 requires a multifaceted approach that encompasses efficient logistics and, most fundamentally, improved
education
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. The primary obstacle to eradicating
hunger
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 is the ineffective distribution of
food
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.
This
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 ineffectiveness stems from two key areas: research and implementation. Inadequate data collection often leads to poorly targeted aid programs, failing to reach those most in need. Implementation challenges include high costs associated with accessing remote or underdeveloped regions, often
due to
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 difficult terrain and poor infrastructure.
Furthermore
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, corruption
further
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 undermines the effectiveness of aid initiatives, diverting resources away from intended beneficiaries. Ultimately,
however
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, sustainable solutions require empowering individuals through
education
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.
Education
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 improves
quality
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the quality
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 of life, equipping individuals with the skills and knowledge to become self-sufficient and break the cycle of
hunger
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.
While
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 direct
food
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 aid offers short-term relief,
education
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 provides long-term solutions. In conclusion,
while
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 technological advancements in
food
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 production are essential, the true barriers to ending world
hunger
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 lie in inefficient distribution systems and a lack of access to quality
education
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. Addressing these systemic issues, rather than focusing solely on production, is paramount to creating lasting change.

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task achievement
Ensure that your supporting points include specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence
Consider expanding the introduction to provide a clearer context for the discussion.
cohesion
Add transitional phrases to improve the flow between ideas, making it easier for readers to follow your argument.
content
Strong introduction that clearly states the problem and hints at the proposed solutions.
language
Effective use of vocabulary to convey complex ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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