IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists and not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract local people? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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Most of the historical
corner
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corners
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 and
museums
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 attract
visitors
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 from different areas rather than the local society.
Overall
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, the situation happens because of the lack of
interest
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 in the local historical moments from the community.
Therefore
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, the authority should encourage different interesting
activities
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 to reintroduce the knowledge and pick up the local people's
interest
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. Most of the time, the
visitors
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 come from different regions or countries,
for example
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, the Japanese cave in West Sumatra, Indonesia. Most locals see
museums
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 and historical
places
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 as tourist attractions. They are not interested in visiting the
places
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 more than once.
Moreover
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, the little maintenance of the buildings and interesting
activities
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 from the authorities
also
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 decrease the locals'
interest
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to bring
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in bringing
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 their families and friends to learn the
history
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 of
such
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places
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. To gain more local
interest
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 in visiting
museums
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 or historical
places
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, the government has to arrange a well-maintained system and interesting
activities
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 to introduce the
history
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 behind the areas.
Firstly
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, a clean and well-maintained historical area would attract more local or foreign
visitors
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 to come. Once they are inside, some
activities
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such
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 as a theatrical play, short movies, and pictures of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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past incidents would engage the guests to learn and be interested
of
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in
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 the
history
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.
Moreover
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, there is a higher chance of the
visitors
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 to spread the
words
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word
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 to their friends and family to explore the historical
places
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. In summary, many locals lost their
interest
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 in understanding the
history
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 around their area. To tackle
this
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 issue, the government and people in charge of historical
places
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 and
museums
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 need to reintroduce
history
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 interestingly.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant details. Consider breaking down ideas into separate paragraphs for better clarity.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate on the examples given so that they clearly illustrate your points. Adding more context can strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance your introduction by providing a more detailed overview of the issues. Similarly, your conclusion could summarize your main points more thoroughly.
task achievement
You provide a relevant example of a historical site, which demonstrates real-world context.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and discusses both reasons for low local attendance and possible solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • tourist attractions
  • interactive exhibits
  • perception
  • civic pride
  • engagement
  • community outreach
  • curate
  • cultural institutions
  • historical significance
  • sustainable tourism
  • resident benefits
  • local patronage
  • preserve
  • educational initiatives
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