IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pictures show the process of making cherry jam

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The given diagram illustrates how
cherries
Use synonyms
 are made into jam.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are 9 steps in the process, beginning with collecting the
cherries
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 and ending with sticking a label onto the jars. Looking at the diagram for more details, in the first step of the process, a sheet is spread on the ground before the tree is shaken strongly to get the ripe
cherries
Use synonyms
.
Next,
Linking Words
the
cherries
Use synonyms
 are collected and put onto the truck before being transported to the processing plant. The next stage is that the leaves and stems are removed by a special machine. After that, the
cherries
Use synonyms
 are washed with water.
At
Change preposition
In
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 the fifth step, the stone is taken out of the middle of the cherry by a metal spike.
Then
Linking Words
, the
cherries
Use synonyms
 are put into the container where they are mixed with different ingredients including lemon juice, sugar and pectin.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, it is checked by the quality specialist. The qualified jam
us
Correct your spelling
is
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 poured into the jams on which labels are stuck in the next stage.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to maintain consistency in your terminology, e.g., use 'jam jars' instead of 'jams' for clarity.
task achievement
Consider providing a clearer overview sentence that summarizes the process more effectively than the current introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied vocabulary; for example, instead of repeating 'the next step,' consider synonyms or phrases to enhance the richness of your writing.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear chronological sequence of the steps involved in making cherry jam, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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