IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that it is good for a country's cultures to show imported foreign films and TV programs. Other people think that a country should develop their own films and TV programs instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Several
people
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 believe that foreign films and
TV
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programs
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 from outside
countries
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 should be shown to improve the culture of the
country
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,
while
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 others believe that the
country
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 should develop their own. In
this
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 essay, I will explain both opinions and give my view on
this
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 issue. On the one hand, films and
TV
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programs
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 imported from foreign
countries
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 are believed to be a way to expand the
people
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's knowledge of a
country
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. By knowing more about lifestyles or as simple as how to eat well,
people
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 can learn and get other compared knowledge to improve their habits. I experienced being fitter because I watched a
TV
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 series called Tomy, which is about a runner who started his career late enough because he thought that running wasn't his main career. From
this
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 series, I learned about developing humans to be healthier.
Furthermore
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, another
country
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's
film
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 escalated our learn of learning another language. We can familiarize our English language by watching
TV
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programs
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 as the easiest way to do
before
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so before
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 trying to speak to our partner.
That is
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 one of the ways that I have done to improve my IELTS score.
On the other hand
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,
programs
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 that are made by the own
countries
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 have an advantage.
Countries
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 can control what the
people
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 should get from the
film
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, especially for younger
people
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.
Countries
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 can ensure
people
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 will know about the traditions of the
country
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, even the history in a deep way. In the past, Soeharto, as Indonesian president, released the
film
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 regulation that
people
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 only be able to watch local films. The result was
peoples
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people
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 became knowing more about Indonesian traditional arts.
Overall
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,
countries
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 with local development in
film
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 and
programs
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 have objections to ensuring
the
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that
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people
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 love their
countries
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.
Due to
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 faster globalization, it is better to know other
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countries
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countries'
country's
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting sentences, linking back to the thesis statement when possible.
task achievement
Use more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to improve the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
Provide more relevant examples to strengthen your arguments, especially in the paragraph discussing your personal experience.
task achievement
You clearly introduced both sides of the argument and offered a personal perspective, which adds depth to your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay provides a personal anecdote that helps illustrate your point of view on the benefits of imported films.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural exchange
  • global connectivity
  • revenue
  • cultural homogenization
  • traditional values
  • nurturing
  • job creation
  • cultural preservation
  • production values
  • genres
  • national pride
  • representation
  • government policies
  • censorship
  • cultural adaptation
  • storytelling
  • imported content
  • domestic productions
  • media landscape
What to do next:
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