IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign laguage at the primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage?

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Some professionals
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
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 that learning a second
language
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at
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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elementary school has advantages for
children
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 rather than
secondary
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in secondary
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 school.
Although
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this
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 action has some drawbacks like limited
practise
Correct your spelling
practice
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 and extra academic pressure, it
also
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 has cognitive benefits and several future
opputunities
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opportunities
.
One
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On
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 the one hand, pupils who start learning a new
language
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 in their early stage of life might face a lack of exposure to the
language
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. Without regular interaction with native speakers,
students
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 may struggle with certain skills like speaking.
For example
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, many
students
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 in non-English-speaking countries learn English from books, so they do not have a chance to learn their real-world usage.
Secondly
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, learning a foreign
language
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 at an early
age
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 may overwhelm some
students
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 who are already trying to grasp fundamental subjects like math and science. Interestingly,
students
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 in highly competitive education systems, like those in China , may struggle with stress
due to
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this
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 action. On the positive side, young
children
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 have a greater ability to mimic sounds and develop native-like pronunciation. Their brain
are
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is
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 more adaptable to new linguistic structures.
For example
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,
children
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 who start learning
english
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English
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 or French at
age
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 around 5-6 often speak with a more authentic accent than those who begin in their teenage years.
Beside
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Besides
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 that,
this
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 trend fosters memory, problem-solving skills and creativity not only for
children
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 but
also
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elderly
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for elderly
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age
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 groups. Bilingual
children
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 outperform monolingual peers in tasks requiring mental
flexibity
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flexibility
 and attention control. Notably, learning a second
language
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strengths
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strengthens
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 brain connections, and
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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 the risk of cognitive decline in old
age
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. In conclusion,
while
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 adding a new
language
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in
Change preposition
to
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 the education system of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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primary schools offers significant advantages,
adverse
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the adverse
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 effects of
this
Linking Words
 development should not be overlooked.

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task achievement
Include a clear thesis statement in the introduction that directly addresses whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to link your ideas more explicitly within and between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
Expand on your examples. Providing a second example can also demonstrate the point more robustly.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed, reiterating the main argument without introducing new information.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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