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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, more and more people choose to go to university. One of the main reasons for this is to secure better job opportunities.

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Nowadays, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 choose to go to
university
Use synonyms
. One of the main reasons for
this
Linking Words
 is to secure better job opportunities.
However
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, some argue that
university
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education
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 offers much broader benefits, not only for individuals but
also
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 for society. On the one hand, many
people
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 believe that the first goal of
university
Use synonyms
education
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 is to help graduates find perspective jobs.
This
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 view is understandable , for the purpose
of
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apply
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education
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 plays a main role in
success
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a successful
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 career. The
university
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 degree can open doors to higher paying positions in famous companies,
give
Correct word choice
and give
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 financial stability and a better quality of life. In today’s world, it is harder to be
professional
Add an article
a professional
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 success without a
university
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 degree. Unlike 20 or 30 years ago, when some
people
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 could build successful careers without higher
education
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, modern job markets require specialized knowledge and skills. If someone dreams of living in a developed country, comfortable apartment, driving a luxury car, and
traveling
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travelling
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 the world, they need a
well paid
Add a hyphen
well-paid
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 job, which often requires a
university
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 degree.
On the other hand
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,
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university
Correct article usage
a university
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education
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 offers suggest than just employment opportunities. It helps individuals grow intellectually,
develop
Correct word choice
and develop
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 critical thinking and comfy skills. The
university
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 can help to find and improve networks together
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people
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with people
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 with similar ambitions and goals, students can exchange ideas, build valuable connections, and collaborate
various
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on various
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 projects.
Moreover
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, higher
education
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 contributes to the development of society as a whole. In my opinion,
while
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 the
university
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 helps to find better jobs,
this
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 place can give more opportunities and benefits. The
university
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 shapes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals with their critical thinking and contributes
with
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to
show examples
 society.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 serves both personal and societal purposes in modern life.

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coherence
Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects with the main argument or thesis statement. Try to use signposting language to guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
Work on developing your examples more thoroughly. Explain how they relate to the points you're making. Specifics can strengthen your argument.
coherence
Be careful with word choice and phrasing for clarity. Some sentences could be rephrased to enhance readability and precision.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents arguments from both sides.
coherence
Good use of paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, which improves readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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