IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The topic of whether the government should mostly invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
constructure
Correct your spelling
construction
 of the railways or the
roads
Use synonyms
 is debated.
While
Linking Words
 I am aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the benefits that
trainways
Use synonyms
 have, I strongly believe that for
comprehensive
Add an article
a comprehensive
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 approach, the government should focus on both,
roads
Use synonyms
 and
trains
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, railways have numerous advantages in the transportation network.
First,
Linking Words
trains
Use synonyms
 are eco-friendly, particularly electronic
trains
Use synonyms
 can carry mas goods, and
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 amount of passengers
in
Change preposition
over
show examples
a long distances
Correct the article-noun agreement
long distances
a long distance
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
trains
Use synonyms
 can reduce fuel consumption,
therefore
Linking Words
, a noticeable decline in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gas emissions will happen. In large populated cities,
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 air pollution is a considerable issue, working on the
Use synonyms
trains
Change the noun form
train
show examples
 network would result in
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 approach in
this
Linking Words
 case.
In addition
Linking Words
, if a large city
promote
Change the verb form
promotes
show examples
 the
trainways
Use synonyms
, a reduction in traffic congestion and car
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
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 would be
guarantee
Wrong verb form
guaranteed
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.
On the other hand
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, promoting
roads
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 several advantages.
First,
Linking Words
roads
Use synonyms
 can easily connect rural areas to urban
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, which can increase the mobility of people. People highly use
roads
Use synonyms
 in order to get to facilities,
such
Linking Words
 as hospitals, banks, and other services from rural areas to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are some cities which are not able to have
trainways
Use synonyms
 based on their conditions, so a road
constructure
Correct your spelling
construction
 will result in better progress. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
trainways
Use synonyms
 have several advantages, I believe for a better approach, the government should
priorities
Correct your spelling
prioritise
show examples
 its budget based on its conditions, both on the
trainways
Use synonyms
 and
road ways
Correct your spelling
roadways
show examples
.

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Task Achievement
The introduction presents the topic effectively, but it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that establishes the writer's position more definitively. Make sure to specify how you perceive the extent of agreement or disagreement with the statement.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the paragraphs are logically structured, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Consider using connecting phrases to enhance the flow between points.
Task Achievement
Some points could be elaborated upon with more specific examples and details. For instance, citing a successful transportation model in a specific country could strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and wording choices, such as 'constructure' instead of 'construction' and 'priorities' instead of 'prioritize.' These errors, though minor, can affect clarity, so proofreading your work would be beneficial.
Task Achievement
You presented a balanced view by discussing both railways and roads, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant advantages of both railways and roads, which contributed to a comprehensive exploration of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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