IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It student, were given the choice between not to study and study Most of the time They would Choose not to study. Do you agree or disagree with the following Statements?

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There is a belief if we give the
student
Use synonyms
 two options, the first one is to continue studying ,
while
Linking Words
 the second option is to stop studying they will choose the second one.
This
Linking Words
 essay will support the disagrement of
this
Linking Words
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
. Nowadays having a high degree like a
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
is highly recommended for
students
Use synonyms
 to receive a job offer with a high salary. So most
student
Use synonyms
 focus during their
last
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 year in high school on having high marks and grades to join excellent universities and continue their study.
for example
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 ,
students
Use synonyms
 focus on science and technology majors as it is the new era and has a high demand.Establishing an educated community helps to raise awareness about the serious problems that could affect it.
For instance
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,
students
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 who continue in medicine will be doctors
raise
Fix the infinitive
to raise
show examples
 the awareness of fetal diseases. The
student
Use synonyms
 who choose not to continue their education will have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
limited options in life.
As a result
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 , Less job offers and lower salaries for uneducated people compared with the educated. Most of the uneducated will be financially dependent on their parents, so it will reduce
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 quality of life as they do not have the freedom to choose how to live.Uneducated
students
Use synonyms
 will be uneducated parents in the future, which will affect them
during
Change preposition
while
show examples
 raising their children .
For example
Linking Words
, they do not understand math or science ,so they can not
taught
Change the verb form
teach
be taught
show examples
 their child. In conclusion,
student
Use synonyms
 today
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 very different from the past , they think a lot about their future
as well as
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 which aspects want to
specialised
Change the verb
specialise
show examples
 in . some
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
student
Use synonyms
 still
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not like studying, and they are small in numbers , and because of that serious problems could happen.

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task achievement
Expand on your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. This will help enhance the clarity of your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs are structured clearly with topic sentences that guide the reader through your arguments. This will improve coherence in your writing.
language use
Try to use varied sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.
strength
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which is a good start.
strength
You provide relevant examples to support your points, which adds depth to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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