IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is predicted that with the development of technology, people in the 21st century will have much more free time. To what extent has the prediction come true? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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Due to
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 the rapid development of
technology
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 over the years, it is predicted that the people in
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
 century will have more
time
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 to do
leasure
Correct your spelling
leisure
pleasure
 activities. I believe that the statement is true because
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
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 the present
time
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, people use
techologies
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technologies
 and
mechines
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machines
in
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on
show examples
 many occasions to support their personal and professional
lifes
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lives
show examples
 to gain
work
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-life balance .
Firstly
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, the employees in many companies use advanced
technology
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 to support their
work
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progresses
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progress
show examples
.
For example
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, sending automatic
mails
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emails
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 to
the
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apply
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clients, holding emergency
conference
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conferences
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 in online
meeting
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meetings
show examples
, and using Artificial
Intellegent
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Intelligence
Intelligent
 to collect
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
 or check
erors
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errors
 in
document
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documents
show examples
. These practices are supported by the newest feature in applications provided by employers to increase
the
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apply
show examples
productivity during
work
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 hours and prevent workers
to
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from working
show examples
work
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over
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overtime
show examples
time
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.
Moreover
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, those features are
also
Linking Words
time
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 and cost
efficients
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efficient
.
Secondly
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, individuals who spend their weekends at home
also
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 get the advantage of
newest
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the newest
show examples
technology
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 to proceed with their daily activities.
For example
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, ordering
a
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apply
show examples
takeout with food delivery applications, cleaning the house using various household gadgets, and watching movies at home with
Netflix
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the Netflix
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 application. These technologies address the needs
people
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of people
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 who wish to complete their housework but enjoy their free
time
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 at the same
time
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.
This
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 lifestyle
also
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 offers more opportunities to have leisure
time
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 after working nine to five by spending more
time
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 alone or with family and friends. In conclusion, the previous prediction of the development of
teachnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 has been
proved
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proven
show examples
 to be true as the society in
21st
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the 21st
show examples
 century
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
 advantage of
newest
Add an article
the newest
show examples
technology
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 to support their private and
work
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 life in order to gain
work
Use synonyms
-life balance.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider adding more detailed explanations and linking your ideas more clearly to enhance the overall clarity and flow.
task achievement
Incorporate a wider variety of examples and perhaps include some counterarguments or alternative perspectives to deepen your response.
grammar and accuracy
Proofread your essay to correct spelling errors and improve sentence structure, as this can enhance your overall presentation.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples that illustrate how technology can enhance both personal and professional life.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, which sets a strong foundation for your argument.
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