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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Today it is common for many business meeting and business training to take place online. Do the advantages of this new development outweigh the disadvantages?

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These days, the main trend among some companies is that they have
meetings
Use synonyms
 and training based on the Internet.
While
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this
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 development has some cons, I still believe that it cannot overshadow the pros that influence the population's lives quality and the environment. On the one hand,
this
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 trend has some demerits.
For example
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, in some areas connecting to the Internet is challenging work;
as a result
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, when the workers who live in these regions want to connect to their
meetings
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, they have to go to cafes or other areas that have good connections.
Moreover
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, the noise, loss of connection, distractions and so on are crucial factors that lead to increased hours of
meetings
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 in these positions rather than face-to-face ones.
On the other hand
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, the merits of online business
meetings
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 and training are so varied.
Firstly
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,
this
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 situation creates a chance for employees to have a work-life balance owing to the fact that they do not spend too much money and time on commitment to their workplaces or the institutes;
additionally
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, they can use
this
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 time on household chores.
Secondly
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, it is an eco-friendly strategy because when people stay at home and do their work, they do not travel to their office every day.
In addition
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,the amount of air and noise pollution, which cars generate when they are stuck in traffic congestion, is reduced;
furthermore
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, the sectors of the dense forests won't be annihilated by people to construct office buildings. To summarise, online business
meetings
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 and courses have some obstacles like poor connection and requiring more time
instead
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 of other situations.
Whereas
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, it has beneficial effects on people's lives and the environment.
To conclude
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, the drawbacks of
this
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 fashion cannot eclipse the benefits.

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task achievement
Strengthen the examples provided to better illustrate your points, particularly in the second body paragraph where the benefits are discussed.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are connected clearly and logically, especially when transitioning between points. Consider using more linking phrases.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You effectively highlighted both the disadvantages and advantages of online meetings, presenting a balanced view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Flexibility
  • Convenience
  • Accessibility
  • Global audience
  • Inclusive participation
  • Innovative tools
  • Breakout rooms
  • Interactive polls
  • Real-time collaboration
  • Environmental benefits
  • Carbon footprint
  • Personal interaction
  • Networking opportunities
  • Connectivity issues
  • Self-motivation
  • Discipline
  • Disengagement
  • Remote settings
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