IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Goverments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many countries have
railway
Use synonyms
lines
Use synonyms
, subways,
Use synonyms
roads
Correct word choice
and roads
show examples
 where buses and other means of transportation are used. To be more precise, the use of vehicles is very relevant today. Simply, one of the
most
Correct word choice
biggest
show examples
 issues right now is traffic on the
roads
Use synonyms
, congestion in the subways, and little or no important
railway
Use synonyms
lines
Use synonyms
. The reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that
people
Use synonyms
 go to work and leave at the same time.
Although
Linking Words
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 have built new
roads
Use synonyms
 to solve those problems, it still exists. In fact,
according to
Linking Words
 scientific research,
people
Use synonyms
 in 80 per cent of the world's
countiries
Correct your spelling
countries
 are extremely worried about being stuck in traffic jams, crowded subways, and always being late for work. And
this
Linking Words
 concern often goes unsolved. So
people
Use synonyms
 suffer when they use various transportation. In my opinion,
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
 are spending more money on building new
roads
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, if
this
Linking Words
 money were allocated to building
railway
Use synonyms
lines
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 issue would be solved. Because, if there are many
railway
Use synonyms
lines
Use synonyms
, traffic density on the
roads
Use synonyms
 could be reduced. And,
people
Use synonyms
 reach their desired destinations on time.
People
Use synonyms
 can use all means of transportation with ease.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they will not get stressed.
Thus
Linking Words
, if a solution to a
problemm
Correct your spelling
problem
 cannot be found through repeated efforts, other methods should be sought and these methods should be implemented. Even, it is more important for businesses and
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 to take these changes seriously and should keep them on the agenda for their development and sustainability.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
During the essay, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that reflects the main idea of the paragraph, which helps improve the overall coherence.
task achievement
Try to further develop your ideas with specific examples or data to support your arguments; this would strengthen your position and enhance task achievement.
language accuracy
Make sure to proofread your work for spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'goverments' (which should be 'governments') and 'problemm' (which should be 'problem'). These errors can distract from your message.
content
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, stating that governments should focus on building railway lines.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: