One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer life and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Due to

Linking Words

cutting edge

Add a hyphen

cutting-edge

show examples

technology and quality medical

Use synonyms

care

Add a comma

care,

show examples

individuals are living longer and their

life

Use synonyms

expectancy is gradually increasing.

Moreover

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

are enjoying their

life

Use synonyms

without diseases with good healthcare.

In contrast

Linking Words

, the major outcome of better medical service leads to overpopulation and environmental degradation. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

the benefits of improved medical

care

Use synonyms

outweighs

Change the verb form

outweigh

show examples

the downsides. On the positive side,

people

Use synonyms

are living healthier

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

with technological advancements in

medical

Add an article

the medical

show examples

care

Use synonyms

sector.

For example

Linking Words

, Incorporating artificial intelligence into traditional medical

service

Fix the agreement mistake

services

show examples

had significant effects on

diagnosis

Correct article usage

the diagnosis

show examples

and management of chronic diseases.

Moreover

Linking Words

, many central governments are providing free health

check ups

Correct your spelling

checkups

show examples

and medicines for underprivileged citizens.

As a result

Linking Words

, the quality of living and

life

Use synonyms

expectancy is drastically raised compared to past years. A recent study from Annamalai University found that

infant

Correct article usage

the infant

show examples

fatality rate

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

reduced by 40

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in recent years after the improvement in health

care

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, medical expenses are reduced because

people

Use synonyms

are living without any chronic diseases because of improvements in primary health

care

Use synonyms

. On the negative side, when

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

are living healthier and longer

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

it directly causes overpopulation. The birth rate and mortality rate should be in balance

otherwise

Linking Words

it can cause disruption in

people

Use synonyms

's lifestyle.

For instance

Linking Words

, if a particular community has more

elder

Correct word choice

elderly

show examples

people

Use synonyms

it can impose

financial

Add an article

a financial

show examples

burden on the family members.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they need to be taken

care

Use synonyms

of by individuals.

This

Linking Words

can cause both financial and emotional distress to the family.

Additionally

Linking Words

, when

people

Use synonyms

live longer

period

Fix the agreement mistake

periods

show examples

it can lead to environmental degradation. They can cause damage to the environment throughout their lifetime. In conclusion, increased

life

Use synonyms

expectancy with innovative medical

care

Use synonyms

improves

healthier

Correct article usage

a healthier

show examples

lifestyle and quality of living. At the same time, it has disadvantages

such

Linking Words

as increased population and eco-system imbalance. In my perspective, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

ksanthosh701Sun Mar 02 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion, which is great. However, consider rephrasing some sentences for greater clarity and variety. For example, 'life expectancy is gradually increasing' could be simplified to 'life expectancy is steadily increasing.'

Coherence and Cohesion

The overall structure is logical, but some transitions could be smoother. For instance, using transitional phrases like 'On one hand' or 'Conversely' could enhance the flow between points.

Task Response

You provided relevant examples, such as the study from Annamalai University, but make sure to explain them more fully in relation to your argument, connecting them back to your main points consistently.

Task Achievement

You effectively present a balanced view of the topic and provide a clear opinion in your thesis statement, which helps guide the reader.

Task Achievement

Your use of examples and specific data, such as the reduction in the infant fatality rate, strengthens your arguments and makes your essay more persuasive.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
elderly population
public resources
pension systems
healthcare costs
workforce dynamics
intergenerational relationships
quality of life
retirement age
cultural enrichment
economic contributions
caregiving roles
personal satisfaction
healthier aging population

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Your next door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: Your reason for writing What you would like to happen A nice, respectful style.
I am your next-door neighbour. You know, your puppy is very small and it always barks.
7.5
band
Some people believe that children’s time outside of school should be filled with scheduled activities such as art and music classes and sports. Others feel that children need free time to play and relax. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is argued by different groups of the crowds whether or not the scheduled activities either art, sports or music classes ought to be spent by the children during the time outside of school instead of having free time to play and relax. From my prospect, I opine that the freedom of the children to relax is the most vital.
6
band
many parts of the world people are relying more and more on prepared food from grocery stores and restaurants because they are too busy to cook at home . this is bad because home cooked food is much better for us to what extend do you agree or disagree ?
Some people tend to prefer processed food from stores and restaurants rather than natural-ingredient food. I strongly agree that this is a bad idea due to how prepared foods are unhealthy and can be addicting, especially for children.
7
band
some people think the Olympic Games are an existing event that can bring nations together. Others think it’s a waste of money. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.
The Olympic Games stand as a globally recognized event, drawing enthusiastic participation from diverse nations worldwide and fostering a sense of unity among societies and individuals, according to some proponents. Conversely, others contend that this form of entertainment is excessive, draining financial resources that could be allocated elsewhere.
7.5
band
In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
The use of plastic bags has become a serious global problem to causes environmental pollution because of the increase in their rubbish. I partially agree with this, for it poses detrimental damage to many wild creatures regardless of the fact that plastic bags are essential for consumers to enjoy shopping.

One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer life and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Your next door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: ﻿﻿Your reason for writing ﻿﻿What you would like to happen ﻿﻿A nice, respectful style.

Some people believe that children’s time outside of school should be filled with scheduled activities such as art and music classes and sports. Others feel that children need free time to play and relax. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

many parts of the world people are relying more and more on prepared food from grocery stores and restaurants because they are too busy to cook at home . this is bad because home cooked food is much better for us to what extend do you agree or disagree ?

some people think the Olympic Games are an existing event that can bring nations together. Others think it’s a waste of money. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Your next door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: Your reason for writing What you would like to happen A nice, respectful style.