IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
prefer
Add the particle
prefer to
show examples
 live in big
cities
Use synonyms
 or towns and,
for
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, the number of
citizen
Change to a plural noun
citizens
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 is decreasing.
For instance
Linking Words
, some of the causes of
this
Linking Words
 migration could be jobs, diseases treatments and, even,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new activities in town.
In contrast
Linking Words
, a lot of new
problems
Use synonyms
become
Verb problem
arise
show examples
 when
people
Use synonyms
left
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
 the
countryside
Use synonyms
. In the next paragraphs of
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I am going to discuss some
problems
Use synonyms
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 our new reality. The proportion of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in our
cities
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 increasing year after year, some
people
Use synonyms
 decided
left
Wrong verb form
to leave
show examples
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
show examples
, wild
zones
Use synonyms
 and rural
zones
Use synonyms
 because they moved to towns or
cities
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, now we have a large number of
people
Use synonyms
 living in
cities
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
makes
Verb problem
creates
show examples
 new
problems
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
,
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
over population
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
show examples
,
more
Correct word choice
and more
show examples
 stress in our typical day because, now, we spend more time at stores and, even, in traffic. A good example of
this
Linking Words
 situation could be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recently
Change the word
recent
show examples
new
Correct your spelling
news
show examples
 about Santiago of Chile, an individual who lives in Santiago spend around 2 or 3 hours in traffic when he or she goes to work,
this
Linking Words
 is because now more
people
Use synonyms
 are living in Santiago than in the past. Eventually, all those new residents became for
Use synonyms
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
a countryside
show examples
 or other small
cities
Use synonyms
 and some of
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 bought cars to move through the city
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
make
Verb problem
creates
show examples
 traffic and contamination
problems
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when these
people
Use synonyms
left
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
 the
countryside
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
, big companies buy those areas to build new factories.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
that is
Linking Words
 a big problem because
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
 are buying natural areas as wild
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
show examples
, and
then
Linking Words
 they make deforestation in that
zones
Use synonyms
. A lot
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 investigations about
constructions
Fix the agreement mistake
construction
show examples
 in wild
zones
Use synonyms
exposes
Change the verb form
expose
show examples
 what could be the consequences of that
practise
Correct your spelling
practice
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, when these factories cut the
threes
Correct your spelling
trees
show examples
 and months or years later the rain comes
this
Linking Words
 could end with a flood and it
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 dangerous for animals and
people
Use synonyms
 who live there. As
Chile
Rephrase
far Chile
show examples
 as
Add a missing verb
is concern
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
, we know similar situations in the south of our country and
that is
Linking Words
consequence
Add an article
a consequence
the consequence
show examples
 of the exploitation of natural goods. In conclusion, if more
people
Use synonyms
 are going to move to
cities
Use synonyms
 or towns, in
this
Linking Words
 case,
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
 governments need to make changes in the structure of these
cities
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, leaders of nations need to increase the well-being of
people
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 to keep
people
Use synonyms
 comfortable in
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 places
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, even, that could have a positive impact and
people
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 move from
cities
Use synonyms
 to countries.

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task achievement
Your introduction provides a clear overview of the topic, but consider including your opinion directly to strengthen your position. Also, ensure your thesis statement is more specific about the points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow between your ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance coherence and make your argument easier to follow.
task achievement
Make sure to clarify and expand your main points with more examples or details to support your arguments. For instance, elaborating on how specific examples relate to broader problems could strengthen your essay.
content
You effectively introduce the topic and outline some of the issues arising from rural to urban migration, demonstrating an understanding of the complexities involved.
content
You provide relevant examples from your own experience and current events to support your arguments, which adds credibility to your points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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