One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer life and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

With the rapid development of medical,

people

Use synonyms

living ages are more and more older. With the longer

life

Use synonyms

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

expectancy increasing, some

people

Use synonyms

think it's not meaningful, and some

people

Use synonyms

don'

Use synonyms

agree

Add the preposition

agree on

agree to

agree with

show examples

it. In my opinion, I disadvantages

longer

Change preposition

of longer

show examples

life

Use synonyms

are more

outweigh

Wrong verb form

outweighed

show examples

, and there are some

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

for

this

Linking Words

Firstly

Linking Words

, living

longer

Correct article usage

a longer

show examples

life

Use synonyms

will make

population

Add an article

the population

a population

show examples

more and

Fix the agreement mistake

apply

show examples

stronger. Following

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

medical

technologic

Replace the word

technological

show examples

development, many

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

health

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

can

be solve

Change the verb form

be solved

show examples

, and it

also

Linking Words

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

them

living more

Wrong verb form

live

show examples

longer. At the

last

Linking Words

, some babies can'

Use synonyms

be born but now they can

be save

Change the verb form

be saved

show examples

by modern

method

Fix the agreement mistake

methods

show examples

. The natural balance will be broken when living

people

Use synonyms

's number are increased but

died

Replace the word

dead

show examples

people

Use synonyms

are grow down. It's

also

Linking Words

a big question for

social

Replace the word

society

show examples

because

Correct article usage

the aging

show examples

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

population need more young

work force

Correct your spelling

workforce

show examples

to care about them. But the social resources are

catch

Change the form of the verb

caught

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

some old

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

hands. On the other

hands

Fix the agreement mistake

hand

show examples

human

Add an article

a human

show examples

can'

Use synonyms

avoid

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

when they

going

Wrong verb form

show examples

old, It will

take

Verb problem

cause

show examples

a big

messy

Replace the word

mess

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

their family. My friend Lily's grandfather who

have been

Wrong verb form

show examples

90 years old,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

only can

lay

Wrong verb form

lie

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bed every day, and

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

someone

pay

Fix the infinitive

to pay

show examples

attention to him every time. His

life

Use synonyms

keep

Wrong verb form

is kept

show examples

by medical

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

show examples

and his family

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

to spend lots of money to care

him

Change preposition

for him

show examples

. Lily thinks they haven'

Use synonyms

other time to themselves and

very

Add a missing verb

are very

show examples

tired to continue

maintain

Wrong verb form

maintaining

show examples

the status. That's not a single sample and it will be more and more appeared in the world. Actually,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

living

longer

Correct article usage

a longer

show examples

life

Use synonyms

can

make

Verb problem

give

show examples

people

Use synonyms

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

more time to enjoy their

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

and

they

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

experience

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

a rich wealth for world development.

Overall

Linking Words

, I

disadvantages

Change the verb form

disadvantage

show examples

life

Use synonyms

expectant increase is a good trend to the world.

xueran6918Sun Mar 02 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion

Improving the introduction and conclusion can make your essay more effective. Clearly state your opinion in the introduction and summarize your main points in the conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Work on organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea to help with the logical structure.

task achievement

For clarity and grammar, practice using more accurate language. Make sure sentences are grammatically correct to improve fluency and coherence.

task achievement

Include more relevant examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and show your understanding of the topic.

task achievement

You present a clear opinion in your introduction, which helps set the direction for your essay.

task achievement

You provide personal examples, which add a relatable aspect to the discussion and illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
53
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
elderly population
public resources
pension systems
healthcare costs
workforce dynamics
intergenerational relationships
quality of life
retirement age
cultural enrichment
economic contributions
caregiving roles
personal satisfaction
healthier aging population

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this competitive age world, money and appearance make everything become easier. A part of society believes this viewpoint while others think hard work and determination will gain success. This writer is going to discuss both views and give my opinion.
8
band
in many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
The debate surrounding the migration of those living in suburbs to cities has sparked considerable controversy. While some assume this notion is beneficial to society, I highly regard it as a negative development due to the reasons this essay further elaborates on.
7
band
In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are spending more and more of their time indoors. What do you think are the causes of this problem? What measures could best be taken to solve it?
Nowadays, teens and preteens all over the world are more likely to spend time doing indoor activities rather than doing outdoor activities. I believe that it is because of the advanced technologies. Youngsters can play video games all day long or watch a marathon of cinema. In my view, the most effective way to quit this habit is to do more exercise. I will explain my point of view in the following paragraphs.
6.5
band
Some peoplebelieve that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and tho highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In a time when inequality has risen to an unbridgable gap between the top 1% and the bottom 99, leading to another crisis with its full impact falls upon the working class, a series of changes needs to be introduced. Wealth distribution in terms of wage payment is part of the reform, thus I agree strongly with its implementation.
7.5
band
Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
More and more multinational corporations are expanding into developing nations. Such a development has advantages like economic growth and a rise in employment opportunities. It also has disadvantages like loss of cultural values and environmental degradation.

One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer life and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

in many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are spending more and more of their time indoors. What do you think are the causes of this problem? What measures could best be taken to solve it?

Some peoplebelieve that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and tho highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?