IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Divorce rate in Finland and Sweden from 2011 to 2015.

This
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 bar chart illustrates the rates of
divorce
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 in two European nations: Finland and
Sweden
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.
Overall
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,
its
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it's
it is
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 clear from the chart that
Sweden
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througout
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throughout
 the period had mostly the highest
divorce
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 rating
accept
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except
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 the
last
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year
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 which
is
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was
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 2015. In 2011, we can see from the data that the
divorce
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rating
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rate
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 was around 44%, after only one
year
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 in 2012, the
rate
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 hit the peak reaching about 48%.
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However
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However,
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 after
that
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that,
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 we can see a
noticable decrase
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noticeable decrease
of
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in
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 the
divorce
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rate
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 in
Sweden
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year
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 after
year
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 from 2012 to 2015, until it got nearly to the percentage of 38% in 2015.
On the other
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hand
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hand,
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 Finland had an upward trend
unlike
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, unlike
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Sweden
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.In 2011 the
divorce
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rate
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 was mostly 38%, one
year
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 later it reached the
rate
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 of close to 33%,
then
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 the chart started to go up gradually
year
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 by
year
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 until the
rate
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 approached
about
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apply
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the top in 2015 with a 40%
rate
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to maintain a consistent logical progression of ideas. You might organize your paragraphs more clearly, for example by separating the analysis of each country's trends more distinctly.
task achievement
Ensure that your points are supported by adequate examples or data from the chart to enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the introduction and conclusion by summarizing the key findings more explicitly to reinforce the overall interpretation of the data.
task achievement
You provided a clear overview of the main trends in divorce rates for both countries, which is a good approach to summarizing data.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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