Some countries encourage foreign companies to open a branch office in their country. Many people think that the government should focus on encouraging local businesses to expand rather than inviting foreign businesses to open branches. To what extent do you agree?

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Some
countries
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allow international
companies
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to establish new
branches
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in their places,
while
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others argue that local businesses' expansion should be encouraged more. I agree that having more foreign
companies
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in the local areas benefits directly to the
host
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countries
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because it contributes to economic growth by increasing a higher employment rate and knowledge transfer. Setting up new
branches
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requires a huge number of employees, resulting in job creation. Foreign
companies
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can save their cost by hiring
workers
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who live in domestic areas
instead
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of importing
workers
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from their own
countries
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;
thus
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, they give more opportunities to local people to apply for jobs.
As a result
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, the
host
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country can generate more revenues through those
workers
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and
this
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benefits economic growth.
For example
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, many Japanese factories open new
branches
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in Vietnam so Vietnamese people get a higher rate of being hired and gain more salaries. In
additions
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addition
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,
host
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countries
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can learn new techniques
while
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working with foreign enterprises. International organizations tend to have best practices and solid work instructions that have
been
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proven their efficiency;
therefore
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, following their methods enables local
workers
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to finish tasks efficiently.
Due to
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knowledge transfer, homegrown businesses,
moreover
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, can be fostered to improve their standards to compete strategically with those from other
countries
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.
For instance
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, a chip
processors'
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processors
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manufacturer in Taiwan started working with foreign factories before adapting technology learned to open its own company. It
finally
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generates higher incomes than other old-school manufacturers. In conclusion,
although
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many people think that the government should foster local
companies
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to expand their
branches
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, prioritizing foreign enterprises to open new
branches
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in the local areas impacts the
host
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countries
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positively with knowledge transfer and job creation.

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task achievement
The introduction is clear, but you could strengthen it by explicitly stating your thesis more forcefully. For example, consider rephrasing to emphasize why the benefits of foreign companies are greater.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between points and paragraphs to enhance the overall coherence. For instance, using connectors like 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', or 'Additionally' can help.
task achievement
While examples are relevant, adding more variety could strengthen your points. Consider including data or statistics to further support the economic claims you make.
coherence and cohesion
Your arguments are well-structured with clear main points that support your thesis.
task achievement
The use of examples to illustrate knowledge transfer and job creation is effective and relevant.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Foreign Investment
  • Economic Growth
  • Technology Transfer
  • Job Creation
  • Local Enterprises
  • Domestic Market
  • Incentives
  • Homegrown Talent
  • Globalization
  • Self-sufficient Economy
  • Cultural Influence
  • Transnational Corporations
  • Local Businesses
  • Economic Policies
  • Long-term Stability
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