Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Due to
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the
advance
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advanced
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development of our world,
people
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nowadays often stay
touch
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in touch
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with each other or
to
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apply
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catch up with the latest news by using social
media
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. In my view, the advantages of using social
media
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to stay tuned outweigh the disadvantages.
To begin
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, using
the
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apply
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social
media
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to get the newest resources and to keep in touch with each other using the social
media
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has its downsides. Searching on the internet for
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
or new events may
got
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be
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Correct article usage
a scams
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scams
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scam
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by getting wrong or fake
information
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, influencing readers
in getting
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to get
show examples
their resources. The drawbacks of keeping in touch by using social
media
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like
whatsapp
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WhatsApp
,
instagram
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Instagram
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,
facebook
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Facebook
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or
snapchat
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Snapchat
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are mainly the leak of personal
information
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and online
frauds
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fraud
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. Hackers from all over the world always steal
users
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users'
user's
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personal
information
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to do illegal activities by hacking into one's online
account
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accounts
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and to steal their personal
information
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.
Inspite
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In spite
of the leak of personal data, online
frauds
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fraud
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is
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are
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also
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a problem, especially
to
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for
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the
elderlies
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elderly
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, the
frausters
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fraudsters
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use
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used
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to fake their identity and call different
people
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pretending that they're the sons or daughters, relatives, or friends of the person on the phone,
then
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to defraud someone's money. Most of the victims are
elderlies
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elderly
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,
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however
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however,
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there are
also
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adults and teenagers who encountered
this
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kind of fraud.
However
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, I believe that there are more pros in surfing
the
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apply
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social
media
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to get
information
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and to stay connected with
poeple
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people
around us.
Firstly
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, the
use
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of social
media
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can be a convenient way for families whose members or relatives left their homes, cities or countries, or
long distance
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long-distance
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couples. As it's difficult for them to meet each other face to face, they can contact each other online anywhere and anytime by using
the
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apply
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social
media
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, they are able to share their living in a different place, their recent situation or to express their love to each other, which benefits them to stay tuned with each other and to prevent their relationship from becoming distant.
Besides
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, using
the
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apply
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social
media
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to look for
latest
Add an article
the latest
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news or
newest
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the newest
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events has its good.
Its
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It
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is far more convenient to get the resources by looking up the internet than using the original method by reading the newspapers, books,
textbook
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textbooks
show examples
, learning from teachers or asking classmates. We can easily get our
information
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by clicking
into
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on
show examples
online news
platform
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platforms
show examples
, watching
youtube
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YouTube
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tutorials,
reading
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and reading
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blogs or online books.
This
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benifits
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benefits
benefit
people
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from taking heavy books or going to the libraries.
Additionally
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, the
use
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of social
media
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has its pros and cons. In my opinion, the good
are
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is
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more than the bad when
people
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use
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the
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apply
show examples
social
media
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properly and carefully,
by preventing
Change preposition
to prevent
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scams, loss of
persnal
Correct your spelling
personal
data, and online
frauds
Fix the agreement mistake
fraud
show examples
.

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task achievement
Your introduction effectively states your position, but it could be clearer and more concise. Consider revising it for clarity and to directly state the structure of your essay.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant, but some points need further development or specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Adding more detailed examples would enhance your essay.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasings that detract from the overall clarity of your writing. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that indicates what you will discuss. This will help with the overall logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
You present both advantages and disadvantages clearly, showing a balanced view on the topic.
task achievement
Your essay illustrates relevant points about social media that many readers can relate to, making it engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitate
  • geographically separated
  • fostering
  • connectivity
  • instant communication
  • real-time information
  • misinformation
  • rigorous checks and balances
  • fake news
  • addictive nature
  • detract
  • face-to-face interactions
  • mental health
  • awareness of limitations
What to do next:
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