IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that to lead a successful life, a university degree is important. Others believe that this is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Traditionally, securing strong educational qualifications
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been considered
as
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apply
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the key to success but in today's contemporary world, many don't believe
this
Linking Words
 to be true anymore. At the same time, some people still hold the traditional view
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of sacroscent
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sacroscent
Correct your spelling
sacrosanct
. I will delve into both viewpoints; concurring firmly with the modern view that academic credentials are not the only path to success. Historically, there has been a strong demand
of
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for
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 qualified workers
such
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 as medical professionals, engineers, pilots and doctors. All these plum jobs required degrees from reputed universities So, getting these credentials became the easiest way to get these high-paying jobs resulting in a stable high and growth career for youngsters.
This
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 led to
belief
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the belief
a belief
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 that education is the easiest path to achieving life goals.
However
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, in
modern
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the modern
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 world, youngsters have tried unorthodox ways and achieved the same results as those of well-qualified professionals.
For example
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, Bill Gates dropped
from
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out of
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his
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apply
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college without completing his degree to start a venture that turned out to be one of the most successful
company
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companies
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 in the world.
Similarly
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, there could be many other examples
such
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 as Steve Jobs starting the company, Apple. The modern generation has proved that
the
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apply
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passion, skills,
hard-work
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hard work
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 and real-life experience are as important as academic credentials and either of them can lead to
happy
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a happy
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 and content life.
To conclude
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, I believe what matters most is the
preservance
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preserving
, passion and hunger to learn whether it's education or some other
persuit
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pursuit
. It's not only the university courses that make one successful but other traits
also
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 can lead to a successful life.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider adding a brief overview of the main points in your introduction to guide the reader. This could help frame the discussion that follows.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more varied linking words to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Deepen your examples and explanations. While you provided examples, further elaboration on how these figures illustrate your points could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines your stance and provides a roadmap for your essay, which is very effective in engaging the reader.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples that illustrate your points, showcasing your understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • benchmark
  • evolving landscape
  • credential
  • vocational training
  • entrepreneurship
  • digital literacy
  • autodidact
  • innovative approaches
  • skill set
  • networking
  • lifelong learning
  • meritocracy
  • practical experience
  • self-taught
  • upskilling
  • resilience
  • adaptive learning
  • critical thinking
  • soft skills
  • technological advancements
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