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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the Population in the state of Oregon by county. Three counties that incresed in population between 1940 and 2000, Columbia, Yamhill and Washington had shown the different increasing.

The line graph shows the Population in the state of Oregon by county. Three counties that incresed in population between 1940 and 2000, Columbia, Yamhill and Washington had shown the different increasing.
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The graph illustrates
residents
Change noun form
residents'
resident's
show examples
Use synonyms
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 in the state of Oregon by county,
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 three counties (Colombia,
Yamhill
Use synonyms
 and Washington) show
increase
Add an article
an increase
show examples
 in
population
Use synonyms
 from 1940 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
three cities show
upturn
Correct article usage
an upturn
show examples
 trend and the
Use synonyms
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
population
Use synonyms
grow
Wrong verb form
has grown
show examples
 in 60 years.
Moreover
Linking Words
,Washington's
population
Use synonyms
 had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of residents throughout the period. Meanwhile, Columbia has the lowest residents
number
Use synonyms
. In 1940 , the
number
Use synonyms
 of people who
live
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
 in Washington was 75,000 ,
then
Linking Words
 it started to rise significantly and reached almost 120,000 in 1970. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
indivual
Correct your spelling
individual
individuals
 living
their
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
 skyrocketed and hit nearly 240,000 in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Columbia and
Yamhill
Use synonyms
 locals
number
Use synonyms
where
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
 humble at the beginning of the period at
appromximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 30,000 for both cities.
Then
Linking Words
 in 1970,
Yamhill
Use synonyms
's locals rose
gradualy
Correct your spelling
gradually
 to 40,000
whereas
Linking Words
 Colombia's locals
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 slowly above 30,000. In the
00's
Fix apostrophe usage
'00s
show examples
 both
cities
Change noun form
city's
cities'
show examples
Use synonyms
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
 increased dramatically and reached 90,000 for
Yamhill
Use synonyms
 and 75,000 for Colombia.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, yamhill, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Demographics
  • Census
  • Migration
  • Infrastructural development
  • Economic impact
  • Urbanization
  • Rural to urban shift
  • Growth rate
  • Satellite cities
  • Migration patterns
  • Local economy
  • Population density
  • Service provision
  • Housing market
  • Socioeconomic factors
  • Population spike
  • Sustainable growth
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