Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs, and other leisure activities. How harmful are these for children? Discuss possible solutions.

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The increasing amount of violence in

children

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caused by computer

games

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, television shows and other

activities

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is concerning many parents, and rightfully so.

This

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essay seeks to discuss possible harms and solutions for

this

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situation. Nowadays, playing violent

games

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such

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as Mobile Legends, Dota, and Mortal Kombat is becoming more and more popular among youngsters.

This

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fact is concerning because of their easily impressionable nature. Constant exposure to violent acts, which do not seem to be followed by any repercussions within those

games

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, normalizes the behaviour.

For example

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, in a game called Grand Theft Auto, players are expected to commit crimes

such

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as theft and hit and run, and the behaviour is rewarded by going to a higher level.

Hence

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, without seeing the negative consequences of crime and violence,

children

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will fail to recognize the bad results of these actions

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apply

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and try to copy the violent acts in schools or parks.

For example

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, I encountered one of my students in a park trying to imitate a wrestling move he saw in WWE on a fellow classmate. The only solution for

this

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problem is attempting to steer our offspring away from these

games

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This

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can be made possible by close observation and provision of alternate

activities

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. Parents must closely supervise how their sons and daughters use computers and television by reducing screen time and participating in the selection of programs and

games

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. They should

also

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guide their

children

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towards different

activities

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, allowing little time to be spent on computers and TV. Possible examples are signing them up for acting or painting classes, or encouraging them to participate in different sports.

This

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paper concludes that exposure to violence through

games

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and TV shows results in violent behaviour among

children

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due to

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their easily influenceable nature. The solution to

this

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problem is to guide them towards

activities

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that are age-appropriate and positive in nature,

such

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as art and sports.

mayaesmaeelzadeMon Mar 03 2025

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Task Achievement

Consider elaborating further on the harms caused by violent games and shows. You may want to include a variety of negative effects, such as impact on mental health or social interactions.

Coherence and Cohesion

While you have structured your essay well, try using more cohesive devices to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs. For example, adding transition phrases can strengthen connections between your points.

Task Achievement

Including more specific examples or studies that illustrate your points could add more weight to your argument about the effects of violent media on children, which would improve your score for relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your introduction clearly outlines the topic, and your essay presents a logical structure with well-defined paragraphs.

Task Achievement

You provide practical solutions for parents to address the issue, which enhances the overall depth of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs, and other leisure activities. How harmful are these for children? Discuss possible solutions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people say it is important to keep your home and work tidy with everything organized and in the correct places, what is your opinion about it?

Some people believe that planning for the future is a waste of time because they think that focusing on the present is more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The Best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual should be responsible for it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.