IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

There is too much noise in many public places in cities. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve the problem?

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In modern
cities
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,
noise
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pollution
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 has become a serious issue
due to
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 rapid urbanization and technological advancements. Public
spaces
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,
such
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 as parks and streets, are no longer peaceful, and the situation continues to worsen as urban populations grow. To address
this
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 problem, governments must take effective measures,
such
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 as improving rural
areas
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 to reduce migration and enhancing green
spaces
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 within
cities
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. One of the primary causes of excessive
noise
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 in urban
areas
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 is the concentration of job opportunities.
In other words
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, people move to
cities
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 in search of well-paying jobs, as rural
areas
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 often lack employment prospects that can support families.
As a result
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,
cities
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 become overcrowded, leading to increased traffic congestion, construction work, and industrial
noise
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.
For instance
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, China, the most populous country in the world, experiences severe
noise
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pollution
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, especially in its capital and manufacturing hubs, where economic activities are concentrated. A practical solution to
this
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 issue is the development of more green
spaces
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. Expanding parks and creating recreational
areas
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 can help distribute
noise
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 more evenly and provide residents with quieter places to relax.
Additionally
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,
such
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spaces
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 can attract tourists, benefiting the economy. Many countries facing
noise
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pollution
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 have successfully implemented
this
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 strategy. A notable example is The Line project in Saudi Arabia, which aims to design a futuristic city with public services
while
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 maintaining a peaceful environment, similar to urban
areas
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 but without excessive
noise
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. In conclusion,
noise
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pollution
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 in
cities
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 is primarily caused by urban migration and a lack of green
spaces
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.
However
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, by decentralizing job opportunities and enhancing public parks, governments can create quieter and more livable urban environments. Addressing
this
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 issue is crucial for improving the quality of life in modern
cities
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.

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task achievement
Consider expanding on the solutions section by adding specific examples of policies that have worked in other cities or countries, which would further enhance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures and use more linking devices to improve the flow between ideas in your paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and relevant response to the prompt, addressing both causes and solutions effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • noise pollution
  • urbanization
  • population density
  • traffic congestion
  • infrastructure development
  • public announcement systems
  • street performances
  • noise regulations
  • soundproof materials
  • public transportation
  • designated quiet zones
  • green spaces
  • buffer zones
  • public awareness
  • community efforts
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