IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A young person will start work at your office next month to gain work experience. Write a letter to him/her. In your letter inform him/her about the work that needs to be done at the office; explain what he/she is supposed to do on the first day; suggest what he/she should bring to work.

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Dear Pushpa, I was just about to know that you are starting work in the same company where
Ii
Correct your spelling
I
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 am working right now. I would like to inform you that you need to handle our cash office, employees
pay
Verb problem
apply
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roll
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payroll
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, purchase reports, sales reports, profit, loss and many more things related to
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
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 account.

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task achievement
Try to elaborate on the types of tasks you mentioned, providing a bit more detail on each to give Pushpa a clearer picture of his/her responsibilities. This will help in completing the response fully.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to vary your paragraph structures and include clear transitions between ideas to improve the flow of your letter. Break the content into separate paragraphs for each main point: work to be done, first day instructions, and items to bring.
tone
Your greeting is friendly and sets a positive tone for the letter.
content
You have listed relevant tasks that Pushpa will be responsible for, which shows you are addressing the requirements of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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