IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagram details the process by which carbonated drinks are produced. Summarise the information by selecting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.

The diagram details the process by which carbonated drinks are produced. Summarise the information by selecting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.
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The given chart compares the process that shows how carbonate drinks are generated.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is important that producing carbonate drinks has 5 various steps that start with
water
Use synonyms
 cleaning and end with packaging.
According to
Linking Words
 the diagram, in the beginning,
water
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 used for drinks has to be purified, so raw
water
Use synonyms
 passes filters,
water
Use synonyms
 softeners and chemicals to become freshwater that does not have any bacteria, viruses and so on.
then
Linking Words
 in the second part, we have evaporation and carbonation.
As a result
Linking Words
, clean
water
Use synonyms
 is pumped to the heaters that are worked by power ;
thereafter
Linking Words
, steam passes the cooling pipe to the tank which adds carbon dioxide gases to the
water
Use synonyms
. The picture demonstrates that in the mixing section, the carbonated
water
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 sent by pipe to the mixture tank combines with 3 different items namely, colure, syrup, and flavour to become soda. After that, they pass the filter to package in 2 various containers which materials are plastic and aluminium.
then
Linking Words
 they packed these cans, or bottles into boxes and sent them by vehicle to the supermarkets.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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