IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

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One of the most challenging issues at work is how many hours should be spent
on
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apply
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working during the week.
This
Linking Words
 should be limited to be allocated for more leisure
time
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 on
weekends
Use synonyms
.
Although
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 some may believe it is against the consistency on the path of achievements, I consider
this
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 to be true
in
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to
show examples
 some
extents
Fix the agreement mistake
extent
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. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, there are some people who are strongly obsessed with hard
working
Replace the word
work
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. On their point of view, the more hours someone spends
on
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apply
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working, the more they are prone to be launched on the path of fulfilling their ambitions.
That is
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, shorter working weeks and longer
weekends
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 might make staff distracted from their duties and easily postpone them for later.
However
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, I consider
this
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 as a superficial interpretation, as longer
weekends
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 not only do not prevent workers from succession but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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also
Linking Words
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
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 to more promotions. People who spend more
time
Use synonyms
 on
weekends
Use synonyms
 to get refreshed are definitely more motivated and satisfied staff.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they are more mentally stable to tackle different challenges at work
due to
Linking Words
enough
Correct determiner usage
the
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time
Use synonyms
 they have spent with their friends and family on their
long-enough
Correct your spelling
long enough
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weekends
Use synonyms
. The main aim of everyone working hard in life is inevitably the astonishing sense of happiness and satisfaction which can easily get swept away by hard long workings without enough
time
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to
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for
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 relief. In conclusion, I believe making
weekends
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 longer and working weeks shorter is beneficial in every aspect. The pleasure of spending
time
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 with friends and family and being refreshed to work with more motivation are why
the
Correct article usage
apply
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longer
weekends
Use synonyms
 are better.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly present your main argument and support it with specific examples. For instance, you mention that longer weekends lead to promotions but don’t provide a concrete example or study to back it up.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure all points made in the essay logically follow each other. For example, the transition between the ideas of working hard and then the benefits of leisure could be smoother to enhance flow.
coherence and cohesion
Be cautious with language-use; phrases like 'the more they are prone to be launched' could be more clearly expressed. Aim for precision in your language.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by acknowledging opposing perspectives, which is a commendable approach in argumentative essays.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main argument and closes the discussion well, reinforcing your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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