IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give yourown opinion.

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Most of us from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
early
child
Replace the word
childhood
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we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are destined to go to school until we reach adulthood and sometimes even beyond that. But
weather
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
 we
got
Wrong verb form
get
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 to higher or just
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 intermediate school we can'
t
Use synonyms
 avoid
competion
Correct your spelling
competition
,
Furthermore
Linking Words
 even in any aspect of
life
Use synonyms
competition
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
apply
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still
existing
Wrong verb form
exists
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. Other
people
Use synonyms
do
Wrong verb form
compete
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competition
Use synonyms
 as well in order to get what they want,
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 dreams in
life
Use synonyms
 push them to compete and even they cause problems
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other
people
Use synonyms
.
Let
Add a missing verb
Let's
show examples
 say in politics, In my country during
election
Add an article
the election
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 a lot of candidates have
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 own style
to persuade
Change preposition
of persuading
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.Others give money,some promise something that they will do if they win.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 there are still
people
Use synonyms
 who
dont'
Correct your spelling
don't
 like
competition
Use synonyms
 not because they don'
t
Use synonyms
 have
a dreams
Correct the article-noun agreement
a dream
dreams
show examples
or
Correct word choice
apply
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wants,
needs
Correct word choice
or needs
show examples
 in
life
Use synonyms
 but
they
Correct word choice
because they
show examples
just
Add a missing verb
are just
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 that type of
people
Use synonyms
 who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 simple and humble. They are
type
Add an article
a type
the type
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 that competing with others is just
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of time.They are not pressured by
surroundings
Correct pronoun usage
their surroundings
show examples
.Even in work or in school they are contented in what they have. For me
competition
Use synonyms
 is part of my
life
Use synonyms
 I can'
t
Use synonyms
be exist
Change the verb form
exist
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 world without
competition
Use synonyms
.It gives me motivation in every aspect of my
life
Use synonyms
.
Let
Add a missing verb
Let's
show examples
 say finding a job I need to compete in order to get a job because if I
will
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not do it I can'
t
Use synonyms
 have the job and can'
t
Use synonyms
 bring money to my family and myself.

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language
Make sure to proofread your essay for spelling and grammatical errors. For instance, 'weather' should be 'whether' and 'don't' should be 'do not'.
structure
Try to structure your essay with clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a central idea and support it with examples or explanations. For example, your second paragraph could focus on the benefits of competition more formally.
content
Including more specific examples to support your points would strengthen your essay. For instance, you could mention a specific field where competition is beneficial, like sports or academics.
content
Your essay reflects an understanding of both sides of the argument, which is essential in a discussion-type essay.
task achievement
You have expressed your personal opinion clearly, which is an important aspect of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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