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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows the scores of teams A, B and C over four different seasons. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the scores of teams A, B and C over four different seasons. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart illustrates the
points
Use synonyms
 scored by three teams; A, B, and C in four
seasons
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Team
Use synonyms
 B scored the highest
points
Use synonyms
 over the time period,
while
Linking Words
teams
Capitalize word
Teams
show examples
 A and C remained at the bottom throughout the four
seasons
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
team
Use synonyms
 A exhibited
a constant higher
Correct the article-noun agreement
constant higher points
a constant higher point
show examples
points
Use synonyms
 in all four sessions,
although
Linking Words
 these figures fluctuated over the years. In 2002,
this
Linking Words
team
Use synonyms
 scored 82
points
Use synonyms
, which is the most
points
Use synonyms
 throughout the year, after that, the
points
Use synonyms
 declined to 60
points
Use synonyms
 in 2003,
then
Linking Words
 dropped to
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 lowest in the following year at 43
points
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 it rose again to 55
points
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
seasons
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
team
Use synonyms
 C began at a second position in 2002 at 10
points
Use synonyms
, followed by fluctuations in the next
seasons
Use synonyms
, and by the end of the
seasons
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 figure fell to 5
points
Use synonyms
, dropping to third position.
However
Linking Words
,
Although
Linking Words
team
Use synonyms
 A started off with the lowest point at 5 pt, their scores showed an upward trend in the following two
seasons
Use synonyms
, peaking in 2004 at 35
points
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 dropping to 8
points
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the season.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words points, seasons, team with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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