Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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era,
people
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purchase many
products
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that contain a high level of sugar, which are available in almost every market. Some
people
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believe that
health
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ministries should establish new policies making sugary
products
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more expensive.
However
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, I would argue that factories should have the freedom to produce sweet foods and drinks, which
people
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may choose to purchase. Sugary meals and beverages are very popular in every market, not only in physical stores but
also
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online. These foodstuffs are always in high demand because they have a unique taste and creative packaging. If the government establishes new regulations requiring sugary
products
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to be more expensive than healthy
products
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, it might affect the economic situation.
For instance
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, manufacturers that specialize in sweet foods and beverages could experience a decrease in their income over time.
As a result
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, the government should be wiser about changing the prices of sugary
products
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, as there are alternative ways to solve
this
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problem. The
health
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ministry, as a stakeholder in
this
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issue, might create new rules for factories,
such
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as requiring sugary meals and beverages to have specific labels indicating a high sugar content.
In addition
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, supermarkets could be required to store sugary
products
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on separate shelves from healthy
products
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. Despite
this
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solution, making sugary
products
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more expensive may reduce consumption in some ways. Some individuals may prefer to buy non-sugary meals because they are not interested in sugary
products
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due to
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the higher price.
As a result
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,
this
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action may reduce healthcare costs and lower
health
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problems
such
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as obesity, diabetes, and inflammation. In conclusion, reducing the availability of sugary
products
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is not the only solution to solving
health
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problems.
This
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policy might affect other sectors, particularly businesses, and may worsen the economic situation. Even though regulations might make sweet foodstuffs more expensive,
people
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's habits will not change without their own awareness and willingness to make healthier choices.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument with more specific examples or evidence. You could benefit from including statistics or studies related to sugar consumption and health impacts to strengthen your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between your ideas by using more linking words or phrases. For example, you could introduce contrastive phrases like 'On the other hand...' or 'In contrast...' to highlight opposing views more clearly.
Positive Highlight
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion by outlining the issue at hand while presenting your viewpoint clearly.
Positive Highlight
The recognition of economic impacts and responsibility of consumers demonstrates a nuanced understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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