IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Advertising encourages consumers to buy in quantity rather than promoting quality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, more and more businesses pay more attention to
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
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 the advancement of advertising
announcement
Fix the agreement mistake
announcements
show examples
 not improving their product’s quality.I absolutely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 behaviour. A fantastic advertisement can bring a lot of consumers truly, but it
also
Linking Words
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 many negative effects.As the amount of
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
increasing
Wrong verb form
increases
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, the direction of the competition of companies
are
Change the verb form
is
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 changing. It will cause the capital of
business
Correct article usage
the business
show examples
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
 in
other field
Change the wording
another field
other fields
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as inviting stars for
endorsement
Add an article
an endorsement
show examples
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
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 in the producing employees.
Then
Linking Words
 the unemployment rate of some workers in factories or farmers will highly increase.What’s more, some companies like to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
show examples
 materials
such
Linking Words
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food raw materials to produce their goods or foods,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will lead to
unhealthy
Add an article
an unhealthy
the unhealthy
show examples
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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 of individuals . Some people agree because they think more consumers can push the whole economy of the country.
However
Linking Words
, the truth is
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their opinions.The high price of the goods may cause inflation,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
might
have changes
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
overall
Linking Words
 economy and even affect personal life directly.
For instance
Linking Words
, the necessities like meat and vegetables with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 high price may cause a normal family enter to the end. In brief, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 action because it might have bad consequences of unemployment of
low status
Add a hyphen
low-status
show examples
 workers, people’s unhealthy
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
,
economic
Correct word choice
and economic
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 inflation.In the future, I wish
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies can
put
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 more
attentions
Fix the agreement mistake
attention
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their product’s qualities not appearance.

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task achievement
Improve the introduction by more clearly stating your position and outlining the main arguments you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and follows logically from the previous one to improve flow and coherence.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points clearly, as this would strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic, and you articulate your disagreement with the statement effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance, providing a clear end to your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pervasiveness
  • mislead
  • economic benefits
  • product longevity
  • durability
  • differentiate
  • craftsmanship
  • targeted advertising
  • flash sales
  • limited-time offers
  • consumer base
  • consumer awareness
  • narrative
  • manufacturing process
  • environmental impact
  • psychological triggers
  • fear of missing out (FOMO)
  • rational decisions
  • allure
  • amass
What to do next:
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