IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend.

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There is a long-standing debate regarding the longevity of working
days
Use synonyms
. Some believe that overworked
employees
Use synonyms
 can result in a lack of quality in their deliverables,
while
Linking Words
 others protested having too much
time
Use synonyms
 off made them feel demotivated. Both views are understandable,
however
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, having slightly longer active
days
Use synonyms
 would be more beneficial for workers as it would help them form a productive habit. A lengthy work term has proven to create errors for
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of staff. A study from Harvard University Business School states that a person’s judgement and concentration are often reduced if it’s not mixed with an appropriate amount of leisure
time
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.
This
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 study not only highlights the duration of jobs for
employees
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 activities or hobbies to actively help them in improving their productivity.
On the contrary
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, if employment’s working schedule would be reduced, it would highly affect the
Use synonyms
employees
Change noun form
employee's
employees'
show examples
 will at work.
For example
Linking Words
, if the weekend would be prolonged into three
days
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, workers would be
to
Replace the word
too
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 busy arranging holidays than working.
Subsequently
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, there would
also
Linking Words
 be fewer
days
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 for them to do their tasks which made them less eager to achieve a certain goal in their jobs.
While
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 a considerable length of working
time
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 leads to errors, prolonging working arrangements leads to demotivation. Engaging with slightly long working hours
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 for individuals to become more active both
in
Change preposition
at
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weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
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 and weekdays.
To conclude
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, there are differing opinions regarding reducing active
days
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 and prolonging unwinding weekends.
While
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 appropriate
time
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 to rest is needed, ensuring a proper amount of working arrangements
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 pivotal to ensure the
Use synonyms
employees
Change to a genitive case
employee's
employees'
show examples
 productivity.

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Task Achievement
Clarify the main argument in the introduction more explicitly and ensure that it is directly related to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow between ideas and ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the main argument.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples or data to support your statements about productivity and motivation.
Coherence and Cohesion
There's a good balance of presenting both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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