IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Over-reliance on modern technology means that people are failing to learn, or are forgetting many basic skills. To what extent is this true? Are people becoming so reliant on modern technology that they are no longer able to do some things without it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experiences.

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As
technology
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 advances, we have become reliant on many devices and services
such
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 as Internet-based artificial intelligence or social networking services. Now people don'
t
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 handwrite a letter to show someone their thoughts and
due to
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this
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 phenomenon, the average writing skill is low-standardized. But I think
this
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 doesn'
t
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 mean that we are going to do some things or forget things because of over-reliance on modern
technology
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 for two reasons.
Firstly
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, all these technologies cannot be the main ingredients of human activities.
For example
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, writing a song requires your creativity. You might get some help with the latest plug-ins and programmes but they can'
t
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 do everything for you.
Moreover
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, generative AIs are not as effective as an expert's touch these days.
To conclude
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, it's a logical leap that we can'
t
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 live without relying on the latest technologies.
Secondly
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, many schools use online classes or games as a tool for teaching.
This
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 means we are utilizing the modern technologies rather than relying on them. From my experience, my school used a traditional teaching method with a little hint of the Internet. Mainly, we studied with the textbooks and after that, debated about the topics of the day with online chatting sites. As a person who experienced both types of education, I don'
t
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 think I am over-reliant on
technology
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. To summarise, people are not going to forget the basic skills that they need. Rather, we are going to make good use of modern
technology
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 like I did. Just because of AIs and technological advances, we couldn'
t
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 write without spelling checkers and deal with tasks without Chat GPT, our technical development wouldn'
t
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 be
this
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 advanced.

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task achievement
Try to develop your arguments further by providing more detailed examples or explanations to support your main points. For instance, explaining how your school's traditional methods were effective could enhance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Consider adding more linking phrases and transitional words to improve the flow of your essay, making it easier for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.
coherence and cohesion
When discussing technology and its impact on skills, be careful with your phrasing. Instead of saying 'the average writing skill is low-standardized', consider saying 'the average standard of writing skills has declined'.
task achievement
Your essay effectively introduces the topic and presents your stance clearly, which is a good foundation for developing your argument.
task achievement
The use of personal experience adds a unique touch to your argument and brings a relatable aspect to your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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