IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents for instance sports or music and others are not . However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that a lot of parents organise extra classes for their
children
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 after
school
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 and at the weekends. Now people are beginning to think that
this
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 is the best way to enhance
children
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's ability, to be able to be competent , capable
along
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with
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apply
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educated. Personally, I tend to think that it is
actual
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actually
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 apart from essential choice in our developing world.
Firstly
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, it is well known that
an
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apply
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additional lessons have many perks for
students
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 , especially in the primary and high grades, for their own purposes. What I mean here is that the whole subject is just beginning, and
school
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 lessons may not be sufficient for primary
school
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children
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,
as well as
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, high
school
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students
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 must pass the exam and
this
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 exam requires a lot of preparation from them. One of the main reasons behind
that is
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from
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apply
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the lack of
school
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 knowledge , and personal attention to the student. A good case in point is that additional classes are worthwhile for developing
students
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 ' competency and knowledge.
On the other hand
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, it can
also
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 be argued that numerous parents are willing
to
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for
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 their
children
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's free time to be spent in vain.
That is
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 to
say
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say,
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a
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apply
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plenty of
students
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 waste their time playing profitless games and watching all kinds of video recordings on their phones that affect their brains and health. Take for
examples
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example
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, if they had attended
an extra courses
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extra courses
an extra course
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 after
school
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, there would be no time to think about anything else, and the focus would be on the lesson. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis I can say that I fully support the idea , as the potential positive outcomes are more significant than the drawbacks.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider restructuring your essay to improve the flow of ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical progression.
task achievement
Your arguments could benefit from more development. Provide specific examples and explanations to strengthen your points.
task achievement
Make sure to address both sides of the argument equally to give a balanced view before stating your opinion clearly in the conclusion.
task achievement
You have presented a clear opinion on the topic, which is important for task achievement.
task achievement
The essay covers relevant points regarding the benefits and drawbacks of extra classes, showing an understanding of the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innate abilities
  • genetic make-up
  • inherent aptitude
  • nurturing environment
  • rigorous training
  • proficient
  • initial advantage
  • consistent practice
  • perseverance
  • quality training
  • prodigies
  • dedication
  • long-term success
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