Various career and academic choices taken by high school graduates in Lakeside country in 2010 and 2020.

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The two pie charts illustrate the comparison between the career options chosen by the graduates from high school in Lakeside County in 2010 and 2020.

Overall

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, it can be clearly seen that the proportion of degree holders who chose to go to college and work showed a decline,

whereas

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the ratio of no idea, starting a business and working in the freelance sector increased. By observing the graph, it can be noted that the percentage of students who had no idea in 2010 was 5%, which increased by 3 times in 2020. The ratio of scholars with starting a business was 19% more than in 2020, which was only 5% in 2010. A difference of 2% was noticed between the working (freelance and informal sectors) in 2010 and 2020 accounting for 11% and 13% respectively.

However

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, in 2010 more than half the percentile of graduates were selected for going to college, which decreased by 17% in 2020. The working sector

also

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fell down from 24% to 10% in 2020.

87simranjeetWed Mar 05 2025

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task achievement

Consider elaborating further on the significance of the changes observed in the data presented in the pie charts. Why might these trends be important or interesting?

coherence and cohesion

Try to use clearer transitions between your points to improve the logical flow of the essay. For example, instead of "by observing the graph," consider using "Looking specifically at the data..."

task achievement

Ensure that there are no discrepancies in the numerical data presented. For instance, clarify whether the percentages are meant to be cumulative or distinct categories.

task achievement

The essay does a good job of presenting the overall trends in the data between the two years.

task achievement

There is a clear attempt to compare the two sets of data, which demonstrates an understanding of the task's requirement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

169 words

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Various career and academic choices taken by high school graduates in Lakeside country in 2010 and 2020.

Fully explain your ideas

many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. what are these problems and how can they be solved?

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

You have recently been in a sports centre and noticed some issues in the changing rooms. Write a letter of complaint to the manager of the centre and say – What was the problem? – Explain why it is bothering you. – Suggest a possible solution.

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

With the increasing popularity of computers and calculators, student literacy is decreasing dramatically. What are the positive and negative effects the progress of science and technology has brought about?